The Island
by meeshimish
Summary: Randy is an ex-soldier trying to make his way home after many months away from his beloved fiance Samantha when his ship is stuck by lightening during the night, leaving Randy the sole survivor who washes ashore on a small island where he's pulled from...
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: My Savior's Keeper (I hate this title, will change it soon)

**Pairing**: Candy

**Authors: meeshimish and rfg_72**

**Rating**: NC17

**Summary**: Randy POV- Randy is an ex-soldier trying to make his way home after many months away from his beloved fiance Samantha when his ship is stuck by lightening during the night, leaving Randy the sole survivor who washes ashore on a small island where he's pulled from the merciless sea by Cody; an island native who's held captive by a vicious tribe leader named Zak who's vowed that anyone who touches his property will be put to death. But that doesn't stop the native from falling for the lost soldier, breaking the heart of his best friend Justin who may not have been the one to betray. Read more to find out!

**A/N:** I am very hesitant to post this here because of the number of people who do not read the notes I include here before the stories with the WARNINGS and explanations as to what to expect next like a sequel or epilogue, or even what's coming next in the story. Please read **ALL** warnings and **notes**! A lot of times your questions are answered right HERE!

**My Saviors Keeper**

Where am I? It's so cold, and quiet, and I can't open my eyes because I'm too god damn weak. My body is beaten and drained of all energy from the merciless waves of the ocean that I'd been miraculously rescued from, and how long ago that I was pulled out of the water by a strong, tall, mysterious stranger in nothing but a pair of black shorts, I don't know. It couldn't have been more than an hour, but my calculations could be off seeing as how I spent all night clinging to a small piece of driftwood that somehow survived the sinking of my ship. Well, not _my_ ship but the ship that I was on that went down during a horrendous storm that raged above us during the night. I don't remember enough to know exactly how the ship went down, my head is so foggy and everything happened so fast and I'm still so terribly weak, and _thirsty._ So as to what happened exactly I really do not know. I just know I spent that last several hours clinging to what must have been part of a door from the ship, drifting in and out of consciousness after a vicious storm thrashed me about the ocean and almost drowned me. Almost.

But I survived. Somehow. And I've partially just woken up after who knows how long when the man who rescued me lifted me up from the water and carried me away from the shore and into what must be a shelter because it's warmer now and the rain that followed me all night pours against something solid above me; the peaceful sound muffled as the rain spills downward to the soft, thirsty ground as the thunder continues to roll and clap in the distance. I don't know if this is a new storm or the same massive beast that struck my ship but each time the thunder booms loud enough to rattle walls my chest tightens with terror, my mind reeling and trying to send me into a panic as I feel the constant splashes of the waves of the ocean moving up and down my body or crashing over my head as if I'm at the oceans mercy once more. But I'm not and just as quickly as the panic starts to build it stops and fades. I'm out of the water and on dry land, laying on my back against something soft and giving beneath me. A bed? No, not quite. Possibly a pile of blankets? Or am I just _that_ out of it? I can't tell, my eyes won't open but I must be inside of _something_, and not a tent but something solid and sturdy enough to withstand the storm. But _where_ am I? Where are my crew mates, my friends? Am I even safe here without them? The last thing I can remember before being pulled from the sea is jumping from the burning ship into the water just before the fire spread to the barrels of gun powder stored in the brig. I didn't see or hear my friends or crew mates jump in after me but they could have done so _before_ me and if they were luckier than I was then they managed to find a spot on one of the small life boats. Of course, _I_ was not so fortunate but it was so dark after the fiery ship was swallowed up by the sea and I'd drifted so _far_ from the sunken vessel that I doubt anyone could have heard my shouts for help, I know I sure as hell didn't hear theirs.

I have no idea how I survived the night or managed to cling to that plank with the waves dragging me and tossing me about in the purest darkness I have ever seen, except for the lightening. The lightening lit up the sky bright as day, the intense bolts like thin skeleton hands viciously tearing through the darkness, booming and crackling it's way across the sky as the wind howled into my ears until I must have lost consciousness, and somehow I didn't let go of the plank. Call it what you will but it was nothing short of a miracle that I even made it ashore and even more of a miracle that I made it there _alive_.

"Is he breathing?"  
"_Barely_."  
"Where did you find him in this weather? How is he not smashed to bits against the rocks!"  
"I don't know but he's lucky he washed up when he did because I was just about to head in from catching breakfast when I spotted him in the sand by the rock-line. Another couple of big waves and he would have been a goner."  
"Damn he is lucky. But he looks so _weak_, and beat up-"  
"I know, he must have been adrift for hours during the storms. Hurry, fetch some water, we'll tend to his wounds."  
"I'll grab some bandages too."  
"Good idea, but hurry, Justin, he's just about frozen through..."

I can't see them but I can hear them, their soft voices stirring me out of an achy slumber more than once as I drift in and out of consciousness, my heart racing with the fear of uncertainty. I'm completely at their mercy, these two, soft spoken strangers that hover over me as I lay here paralyzed with pure exhaustion from the unforgiving sea. God I'm so thirsty. And fuck I wish I wasn't alone. Well, I'm not alone, but I wish I knew the two men who rescued me. One has just left, that much I can tell from the rush of cool air over my body that came and went like the opening and closing of door. But the voice of the one who pulled me from the shore, _he's_ still here. I still can't see him but I know he's there because I can feel him moving about round me, tending to the fire as it crackles and pops, the warmth of the flames barely touching my icy skin. If only my eyes would open so I could see my rescuers and my surroundings. If only I could muster a sound to tell him of my thirst!

But I can't speak, I've tried but I can barely swallow, my throat is so dry and painfully sore, aching as my body silently begs for water. I'd been in such a daze when the man who pulled me from the shore that I didn't have the mind to say a word and now the daze has cleared some but my body still feels so detached as my muscles ache and throb with weakness, and they don't respond to my attempts to move. I try to lift my hand, but my fingers don't so much as twitch. I try to open my mouth, but my lips won't part, not even a little. I want to panic. Because it's as if I'm frozen solid, paralyzed completely from head to toe, and I can only pray that it's not permanent and simply just exhaustion that has stolen my body.

I don't know how I'm as conscious as I am right now but I'm extremely thankful for it because at least I can _hear_ what's going on around me and as much as I want to _see_ my surroundings I'm still satisfied with my only available sense that's still working, even if I hear something I don't want to hear. The important thing is, don't panic, stay in control and assess the situation like I've been trained to do. Show no emotion, show no sign of fear, and take control. But control is out of my reach isn't it? I can only slow my racing heart and calm my nerves, and the rest will have to wait. Wait until I can actually _do_ something other than lie here completely vulnerable with the entire length of my body refusing to move, I'm literally frozen through. And no amount of training can help this particular situation, I'm paralyzed and until my body is warm and get's the proper rest that it needs there's not a damn thing that I can do about it. Except listen, and listen carefully. That's **all** I can do.

As I lay here and listen to the man move about around me and try to stay calm about my condition I can't help but think about my friends. Did they make it into a lifeboat? And if they did will they reach land in time? Will they send help for me? I'd like to think so but we are not considered honorable men us "deserters" of the army who are readily shipped home. So unless my friends push for my rescue I may be simply assumed dead and lost to the merciless sea, and then forgotten. I mustn't panic. I can build a suitable vessel with the skills that I learned before "deserting" my post and if I'm lucky I can build it and be done before the next storm hits. If I'm lucky...Too bad I'm not the "lucky" type. But then again maybe I am since I survived the storm and washed ashore and my friends could be the unlucky ones, _they_ could very well be dead. Or maybe they washed ashore here too? I wish I could ask and put my weary mind to rest before I burn through what little energy I'm running off of now, which is another miracle. But this "reserve' of energy is probably another "skill" I picked up while being "molded" into an "elite soldier", which is just a fancy way of calling me a "legalized murderer", in my opinion. But that's what got me loaded onto that god forsaken ship, my _opinion_ that finally rubbed the wrong people the _wrong_ way. Fine by me. I was ready to go home and the "skills" they drilled into my head constantly for the last three agonizing months? I'll pick and choose what I want to keep and eagerly discard the rest. Because I'm no murderer and I'd rather be disgraced as a "deserter" than have to wake up every day with the blood of my victims on my hands as a painful reminder of all the horrible things I'd done. Call me a coward, deserter, a pathetic waste of a human life I don't care, just don't call me a murderer.

The days of my army life are over and if all that I am is going to be summed up by those three _miserable_ months I spent in "special training" then so be it. I know what I am and **I** know I made the right choice to speak my mind when my commanding officer tried to order me to strangle the life out a prisoner just because the poor soul wouldn't comply and give us the answers we needed. I wouldn't do it, I couldn't! I disobeyed a direct order and the poor soul died anyway but, by someone else's hand and NOT mine because "destined to be the best of the best" or not I am not a fucking _murderer_.

Of course, with my refusal to break they labeled me as weak and I got my ass kicked for disobeying a commanding officer, but it was worth it. And fortunately enough because of the intense, **barbaric** training I endured beforehand I was able to take the beating without experiencing too much pain and only a few broken bones that have since then healed. But the deeper wounds, the wounds that came about each time I saw my team mates take someone's life will always be with me, and so will the screams of their innocent victims.

My "team" was a secret operation made specially for the purpose of _murder_ and _torture_ and required the utmost secrecy. So naturally no one would believe my story if I told it and I don't plan to. I'd be laughed out of town if I haven't been already because of my "deserter" status so no one's going to stop to listen to my tale when they've already made up their minds and labeled me _weak_. But, little do they know I was _extremely_ lucky to make it out of that hell hole alive, and incredibly strong too, so if people want to call me a deserter or _weak_ then so be it because I know the truth. I KNOW that **earned** my freedom, and I **earned** the right to choose the life I want. And I don't want to be a murderer, no matter what it costs me.

I also don't want to die here with these two strangers whom of which I have no idea if I can trust, especially if they figure out that I'm a soldier, then I could be in some trouble if I washed ashore on enemy territory. Well, actually I think **I** would be the enemy in this case. _I'm_ the stranger here, not them. And I've ended up on the shores of what very well could be _their_ home...This is just a _tad_ unnerving, especially since I can't _move_.

"I found an extra canteen." The younger, softer voice of two men startles me and my body wants to jerk but can't so it doesn't. Canteen? Does that mean water?  
"Good thinking. Did you find a suitable blanket?"  
"Yes, a couple, and some leggings too."

"Perfect, help me get his wet clothing off, careful of the cuts on his arms." I can't imagine that I have much clothing left but what little bit I do is cold and clinging to my skin, chilling me to the bone. And it's a little alarming to hear that I have cuts on my arms because I don't feel them and I have no idea how they got there, hopefully they're not too deep or numerous.

I feel movement around me and after a brief, silent moment what remains of my clothes is slowly lifted and carefully torn, the shreds gently pulled away from beneath me before I hear them hit the floor with a soft plop. Something wet and warm touches my brow in a soft dabbing motion until a soft rag drags across my forehead and temple, and I feel something stinging along my forearm of my left arm. My cuts? Shit they hurt, maybe they _are_ deep. But the hands tending to them are so gentle and so soothing as what feels like warm water drips onto my skin and then is so carefully dabbed and wiped away. And the stinging stops. I feel the water drip onto the cold skin of my abdomen and my body shivers weakly as an ache floods up my spine. The gentle hand drags the moist cloth across my stomach from side to side, going slow as it travels carefully around the curves and dips of my muscles, I must be filthy, or maybe I'm injured there too and I'm just too numb to feel it. I can feel more of my legs though, the blanket tucked against my body is quickly trapping in the heat of the fire, thawing my frozen muscles into relaxing bit by bit with each passing minute, but I still can't move.

"...Do you think that he will make it?" The younger voice whispers over me.  
"It's hard to tell right now, he's too pale to be certain but perhaps we will know tomorrow morning after he's had some decent rest."  
"Did he even wake up when you found him?"  
"Briefly. His eyes opened for a moment then rolled back into his head." They pause, my body is shivering, shaking me and possibly catching their eyes. But not for long because I feel something heavy and yet soft falling gracefully over my legs and abdomen then the gentle tucking of soft object against my legs, a blanket.A thick, warm blanket, maybe I _am_ safe here?  
"Where do you think he's from?" The younger one asks and startles me and this time I feel my hands jerk a little in surprise beneath the blankets. I try to do it again but nothing, damn it.  
"Not sure, but what's left of his clothing looks like he could be from anywhere in the other lands, or he could one of those soldiers Zak was telling us about-" He stops at the same moment I feel the cold suddenly return to my legs and just as quickly the man who rescued me lets out an appalled scoff, "Justin! Stop that this instant!"  
"Oh, sorry," The other says and snickers and my breathing quickens as he lowers the blanket over what I realize is my groin. "I just wanted to see it-"  
"I know, and it's _rude_. Try to restrain yourself until he's awake at least. Then you can tie him up and fuck him for all I care. Just leave him be with he rests!"  
"Calm down, I was just _looking_-"  
"I know, _enough_. You don't know this man at all and for all you know he could sit up and snap your pretty little neck if he caught you _inspecting_ his details-"

"Alright, alright, point taken." He interrupts and lets out another snicker, "But I doubt a big guy like him would let me tie him up."

"...No, probably not."  
"You wouldn't help me?"  
"I haven't really thought about it and you shouldn't either at a time like this! The mans on the brink of _death_, Justin! Have some tact and _try_ to keep it in your pants until he wakes!"

Justin sighs, "Hmm, **fine...**BUT, as bitchy as you are right now, I think you would help if you saw what I saw. He's bigger than Zak, you know."  
"_**Stop it**_."  
"Stop what?"  
"Just grab the water and shut up, Justin, you can humor yourself with your comments _later_." Yes, _Justin_, just get the water and keep your damn hands off of me, _please_. Now is not the time to check out my "details", crazy little _freak_. I've just come out of the ocean a complete mess for fucks sake! And this _Justin_ is what, checking me out? For what? Nothing going on where he was checking is any of Justin's damn business! But Justin was right about one thing though, because there's no way in HELL that I'd let him tie me up, or _fuck_ me. I'd say I was flattered if I could but I'm NOT. And because for so many reasons this _Justin_ and his idea to _fuck me_ is just NOT going to happen, one reason being that I have a **fiance**, a beautiful woman that I've promised myself to back home that is desperately awaiting my return after three long months of my absence. And just thinking of her makes my body ache with worry. My beautiful Samantha so young and fragile, she'll be so distraught when she hears my ship went down in the night, her sweet heart will be broken to pieces! I must get back to her, I must recuperate as quickly as possible and find my way back home before she fears the worst! That is, if she'll have me as the worthless, pathetic "deserter" and ex-soldier that I am. Her father won't be pleased and she and I will have to elope without his permission but she loves me, entirely, and she'd run away with me the first chance she got. I just need to get my ass home and fight this weakness with everything I have so I can wake the fuck up.

But first, my thirst! I must deal with Justin and his curious eyes _after_ I tell them of my horrible thirst! That or I should say my final prayers now because I'm not going to make it if I don't get some water! Because my body is shutting down, I can feel it, even now my legs are still fighting going completely numb. But I'm fighting it with everything I have, I won't give up! I hold my breath, that much I can still do. I hold it hard, the pressure quickly hurting my chest. I let it out in a puff and feel my brow twitches, the first voluntary movement I've been able to make! I push harder and take another breath but my brow dips into a frown and the stranger above me instantly responds with a light gasp, "Justin, he's awake!" I feel a sturdy hand suddenly slipping beneath the back of my head, cradling it securely in the warmth of his palm. "Easy," The voice of my rescuer says soothingly as I feel my frown deepen and his gentle hand lifts my head as something hard presses against my parched lips, "Here, **water**, drink." Oh yes, oh please yes! I open my mouth just as it hits my lips and I gulp and my throat is so dry I choke slightly, spewing water over my chin and face. But I don't stop, I stifle as much of the choking as possible and gulp down as much water as I can, the cool, refreshing liquid suddenly drawing my eyes open as it quickly replenishes some of my strength and sends a small burst of energy through my veins.

I drink until the water stops and the stranger takes the empty canteen away just as my vision begins to clear, the haze slowly dissipating and sending color rushing into focus. Everything is dim in the fires soft amber lighting but even so I can make out a firm, bare form of a man leaning over me but I can't completely make him out. I blink and it helps but not much because the only thing that comes into view is something deep and mesmerizing _blue_; so blue and clear and bright like two shinning orbs that fiercely penetrate the dim lighting around me and stare directly into my soul. I freeze again and I can't help but stare as my vision struggles to clear, blinking rapidly, I must be seeing things. I must be a lot worse off than I thought and on the verge of delirium because those orbs, fuck they just can't be real. The raw, mesmerizing energy pouring from them into the very depth of my soul _has _to be part of a dream or I must be dying and the good lord is calling me towards the bright lights of salvation!

I close my eyes, clenching them shut tight to chase away the ominous orbs. But someone shakes me, their hand gently rocking my head as the soft voice of the man who rescued me tries to coax me to wake, "Hey, hey, wake up. Can you hear me?"  
"Is he awake?"  
"I think so, just give him a minute..."

I take a deep, slow, painful breath and let it out as I force myself to reopen my eyes. It doesn't help, the orbs are still there!

The orbs shine down at me and I can't help but stare into them, my eyes widening on their own. I try to sit up but my arms deny me once again as the orbs penetrate deeper and deeper into me, my heart racing. I blink rapidly, panic rising and burning at the back of my throat like bile that I can't swallow down. Shit. I blink harder, jerking my head against the hand still cradling my skull. Come on, Randy, get a hold of yourself and fucking MOVE! I close my eyes again, clenching them tight for as long as a I can, but it's futile and my body shakes as my eyes fly open, my vision bursting into full focus.

I'm startled by what I see, my breath catching in my throat enough to make me choke and I do as the man above me watches over my struggles with concern. What the- My god! Those are his **eyes**! Those beautiful, bright, mysterious, _penetrating_ orbs are someone's eyes. "Hi..." He whispers to me just as my choking tapers off, his lips curving into a slight smile but my eyes are transfixed to his blue orbs, their bright intensity trying to steal my breath and it succeeds. "Can you hear me?" I nod, eyes still wide. His smile grows, but only a little. "You're safe here, sir. My friend and I are tending to your wounds and you can rest, we will watch over you."

Okay so I'm safe and I can put that worry to rest for now but, I open my mouth to speak and have to swallow to find my voice as my throat tightens with exhaustion. I swallow and try again. "Who-Who are you?" My voice is so raspy and soft, did he even hear me?  
"Shhh, you're safe here, just rest."  
"But, I-"  
"Shhh," He presses his fingers over my lips, silencing me as my eyes flutter and close on their own accord. Shit. "Just rest," my rescuer insists and as much as I'd like to know his name I know he's right, I need rest if I want to pull through. My body is just too bruised and broken, my mind too foggy and detached to make sense of my surroundings or even the pain I must really be in. But perhaps once I'm rested we can exchange names and I can thank him properly, that and find out just where in the hell I washed up and how soon I can get **home**.

"Is he asleep?"  
"I think so."  
"Are you going to stay with him through the day?"  
"Yes, he'll need a watchful eye and since _you_ can't be trusted not to molest the poor bastard in his sleep, the task will go to me."  
"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm a horrible, shameless hussy, I know. But okay, what if Zak comes for us? Where will we hide this poor soul when that happens?"  
"We don't have to hide him, we will just have to make sure that Zak has no reason to come in here so he won't see him."  
"You sure that will work? Zak's been pretty intrusive with us lately..."  
"I know, that thought crossed my mind but what else can we do? The caves are gone with the high tides of the storm and if we stashed him anywhere else it's likely he'd be eaten alive by mosquitoes or worse. We have to leave him where he is if we want him to have a chance of making it. And I'll deal with Zak if I need to and you can stay here and keep watch while I'm gone."  
"Okay, I could do that. I hope it works. Because I don't think we could carry this poor guy all the way to the caves anyway, he's too _big_."  
"Yes, I noticed that too. But more importantly he'll be very lucky if he makes it through the night so let's worry about Zak and the caves once we know if the stranger will pull through..." His voice starts to lower, his last few words terribly muffled. I can stay awake no longer.

"I hope he does make it. Good thing you found him when you did."

"...when he wakes... we shall see if it's a good thing..."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Note: I can't believe I have to put this out there but lol, it's not Zak Ryder! And I give up D: I've been trying so hard to get this first pov right but after numerous attempts and way too much stress I give up! It is what it is :D

I awake to another storm. Thunder crashing loudly overheard and jerking me from my slumber as it rolls. My eyes snap open as another clap echoes in the sky. I lift my head, blinking slowly. My throat is dry, my chest tightens. I cough hard, struggling for air but there's such pressure on my ribs, like someone's sitting on them. But I can see and the only thing on me is my hand, clawing into my flesh as I writhe between gasps of air. I can't breathe. _Shit._

I sit up. _I sit up_.

My vision blurs and I close my eyes as I gasp for air. The one breath takes the pressure away. My head is still heavy as pain suddenly shoots upwards from my arm. Shit. Not now. I bring my hand to my aching shoulder, wincing and swaying as just my touch sends more pain bursting down my arm all the way to the very tips of my fingers. Pain I'm all too familiar with. I don't even have to look. It's my shoulder. Damnit. I must have dislocated it again. Probably from holding onto the door for so long or maybe even when I was pulled ashore, I don't know. But it hurts. It hurts and I know this pain all too well to think it would come from anything else.

I try to lift my arm but it won't go. The deep burn within the joint tells me it's been out of place and possibly the worst it had ever been. Damnit. Training did this to me. More specific my commanding officer who ignored the first time I dislocated during a set of excruciating drills. In fact if I recall correctly he was so cold that he reset it right on the spot and put my ass back to work after only a quick ice down. I knew I was in trouble but if I didn't perform to their standards then I was looking at a minimum of three days starvation, and an even worst set of drills I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

_So I pushed myself_. I pushed myself and my arm got worse and worse until it finally gave way again and again and I couldn't take another minute of the pain, nor could I use my arm anymore. They gave me drugs, put my arm in a piece of shit sling made out of an old pillow case and forced me to learn how to fight with one hand. And I did. I gave them everything I had until I broke and the moment they ordered me to start killing people I ran. And look where it got me.

A groan rumbles up from my chest but I stuff away any emotion and swallow hard. I will not be afraid of being lost, or weak because a soldier would step up and depend on his honed skills of survival. And that's what I am, a soldier, even if I hate it. I chase the fear away.

I wish I knew how long I've been here. I vaguely remember flashes of images and muffled voices speaking over me. And hands touching my arms, chest and face and a soothing sensation of something cool like water being carefully poured down my throat, forcing me to drink. I remember that I drank and it felt good but other than that I only felt pain. As I slept it was dull and sometimes throbbing in my shoulder but aching and constant over the rest of my body. I don't know for how long. A day or two maybe? I hope.

I look around and see the same surroundings as I did before only now they're in great detail and I can finally tell just where I am. Sort of. From what I can tell I'm in some sort of a bamboo _hut_ that stands tall and wide. _Why am I not in a hospital_? The tan bamboo wrapped fiercely tight and in perfect rows to make a perfect square even above me. It's raining and the roof is leaking in a couple of places but other than that it's warm and dry and my body is resting comfortably in the peaceful atmosphere. Or what I hope is. For all I know the two who saved my sorry ass could be softening me up for the kill. They could be complete savages or worse, knowing my luck. And I'd be powerless to stop them if they were but I won't jump to conclusions. Especially since I'm in no position to do anything about them.

"Hey…you're awake." I jerk my head up towards the soft voice speaking to me. It must be _him_. I sway as I find the man who pulled me from the shore standing over my head. He's tall and built strong with short dark brown hair and I can't help but notice he's almost completely nude. I lean back slightly. His skin, perfectly bronzed from head to toe looks so young and supple so he must be young, like me. And I know this because the only thing covering his strongly-built body is a pair of tight black shorts that are _much_ too small for him. But those **eyes**, damn. _His eyes_. They keep catching, no, _pulling_ my attention to them like some sort of energy drawing me in. I give up. I stare. Fuck they're so damn blue and his evenly sun kissed skin makes them seem that much more vibrant, they're down right shiny. I've never seen anything quite like them. Or him. Or this _hut_… Where in the hell did I wash ashore?

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Crap.

He smiles politely.

I try but I can't really move without pain exploding through my shoulder so I tuck my arm in my lap with a strangled groan and close my mouth. Forget it. I'll deal with it later. Right now I need to worry about where the fuck I am and just how soon I can get home. I try to speak again. Still nothing. My throat is too dry. _Damnit._

I use my good hand and rub it slowly across my forehead, a slight headache beginning just beneath my temple. Taking a deeper breath, a fiery bolt sears across my chest. I cringe. Bruised ribs. At least two of them on my right side. Shit. That's just something else that's going to slow me down on my way home. They won't stop me, from what I can tell. But if there's anything else wrong…_Shit_. I look at my stomach. I remember pain there. Now I know why. It's a gash, a big one, starting from my navel and stopping just below my rib cage. It looks good though; clean, healthy, the scab fresh with obvious signs of healing. And the same goes for the wounds on my weakened arm in my lap, and there are a quite few. _Okay, so I'm hurt but it's nothing bad enough to stop me from getting home, I should be alright. I should be._

I inhale slowly as I mush my fingers against my temple. _God damnit why can't this just be a dream?_

I think back to the last night on the ship. How badly could I be injured? I vaguely remember hitting the railing as I jumped free of the burning ship, and then all the crap that was in the water slamming into me, forcing me under before I found my door. Or whatever the fuck it was. I just remember clinging to it as the waves tossed me about as if I were nothing. But I never broke. I'm solid. Just bruised and a bit banged up but other than that, I-I think I'll be alright.

But I need to get on my feet soon. I need to stand and test my legs. I tell them to move and they do, giving a slight jerk that sends a sharp ache up my spine. I _really_ need to stand up before my back stiffens and makes this ten times worse.

I drop my hand from my temple and the movement forces a slight groan from between my clenched teeth. I could go for a drink right now, a tall shot of anything hard. _Of course you want to drink. You need your crutch now more than ever, don't you?_ I force the thought away. No time for that, I can hate myself later. At _home_.

I want to but I'm not ready to get up but, maybe I should say something now? Anything to get the introductions out of the way so I can move on to just how in the hell I am going to get out of here. Wherever _here_ is.

I glance about quickly. So far _here_ is just a hut on the beach. I know this because I can hear the crashing of the waves as they roll in the distance but how far away I'm not sure. But the smell tells me that it is close because it's strong and thick in my nose, so much so that I can almost taste the salt in the air on my tongue. I'm definitely too close for comfort.

But if there is anything beyond what I've been kept in I don't know. And I should find out.

I lift my head higher, blinking slowly as the world threatens to tilt and I weakly bring my gaze to the man standing now beside the fire. He's picked up something, a thick branch of some kind and he's using it to poke at the dying embers that appear to be a lost cause as he pushes them about. "H-Hi…" I say. Fuck my voice sounds pathetic. But hey, at least I finally said something.

I sway slightly as the one who pulled me ashore glances over his shoulder and nods. "Hey," he says and goes back to poking at the fire. "How do you feel?"

I put my good hand down on the blankets, grasping them, and try and manage to sit up a little further, squinting as pain shoots up from deep within my shoulder. I block it out. I don't have time for that right now. "Okay…" I say hoarsely and it hurts my throat. I hate sounding so weak, like I might pass out at any moment and become an easy target. _As if I'm not already_.

I sigh as I look down at my lap. I'm covered by a thick, dark green blanket that's fallen down to my waist. I lift it. I'm naked. Great. _So much for just getting up and testing out my legs._

A small silver canteen suddenly appears before my face in the strong hand of the man by the fire. I look up. Apparently he'd moved. "Water?" The man offers and I nod quickly and grow dizzy but, God yes. Please! I'm so parched! I take it and whip the lid off. I just can't get to it fast enough.

My hand shakes as the cool metal tip soothes my dry lips, spilling water down my chin. I drink. The cool rush of the liquid over my tongue almost makes me gasp as it moves inward. I hold my breath, swallowing fast as my mouth rapidly fills to the brim. It tastes so good, so crisp and refreshing. I tilt it upwards into the air, quickly gulping as more pours down my throat. I close my eyes. The flow slows and I angle higher and collect the last drop. It's empty. I set it down on my lap and shudder hard. I'm breathless.

I drop my head as I sway slightly and blindly swipe the back of my wrist against my mouth and take a much needed deep breath. The water soothes my throat and stomach, numbing some of the aches and pains. I feel better. Not by much but it's definitely an improvement so I'll take it.

I raise my head and look around and find the man by the fire again, poking at it. I want to get up, I need to. Will he help me? I open my mouth to ask but stop at the last second. I don't know his name. Does he know mine? I can't remember if we got that far.

"Who are you?" I ask. Oops. _What's your name_ would have been better. Too late now.

"I'm Cody." He says.

Finally a name. But I'm not finished yet. Now that I'm starting to wake up I have questions. Tons of them. "Where am I?" I squint. It's not very bright in here but it seems to help as I scan the empty hut. There's seriously not a bit of furniture here, or a window.

"You're on the island," He says. "I found you on the shore, don't you remember?"

I nod. But the island? That's it? Does it not have a name? I look Cody over, mostly his taunt, firm backside since that's all I can see. "I remember." Cody looks like he could do some damage if he wanted to. Hopefully not to me. "You said I was safe here?" Just checking.

"You are," He nods. "I won't hurt you if you don't hurt me."

I nod again. Fair enough. "Did you find anyone else?"

"No, sorry. Just you." He glances at me sadly.

Shit. Okay so I'm here alone, I can deal with that. I think. _I hope_. I close my eyes in misery and listen for a moment. If training has taught me anything it's to put my emotions aside and to get to know my surroundings and fast, that way I'm aware of any immediate danger coming my way. So far I only hear the sound of the rain splashing loudly against the roof top and the ocean's waves crashing against the shore, nothing else. No voices, no signs of life. Not even the birds are out in this weather. There's only silence. And isolation.

I reopen my eyes and find Cody staring at me. "What are you doing out here by yourself?" I say quizzically. I know there's no one else here. Not a soul. Well, maybe his friend Justin. The _curious_ one. And perhaps _Zak_ as well, whoever the hell he is.

"I'm _not_ by myself. My friend Justin is here too."

"And you two live out here?"

"Yes." He says.

"On the beach?"

"Yes."

"Alone?"

"…**Yes**."

I shake my head slowly. That's just confusing. How could they possibly live like that? They're completely isolated and helpless out here. Don't they know that?

I haven't seen anything outside the hut and I don't know how protected it actually is but I can feel it in my gut that something isn't right here. It's a deep, nagging feeling in my stomach, my nerves. I'm anxious. Maybe because I know that with the army on the war path this whole fucking island could be a target. Hell it probably already is if I found my way here because that means they will too. It's only a matter of time. But still, even if I wasn't aware of that I would think living on the beach was reckless and asking for trouble and I'm all about staying out of trouble. I've had my fair share.

I shake my head in disbelief. This just can't be where they live. It's just not realistic. "What is this place?" Perhaps I've landed on some hot vacation spot? Yeah, that's it. It has to be.

"…_Home_." Cody doesn't so much as smile with the mention of the word. He goes back to poking silently at the fire.

I frown. This is it? This hut is their home? I look around but don't see any more beds other than the one I'm on and there's literally no furniture. Just the bed, the fire pit and us.

No. No, this can't be _home_. This is the beach for fucks sake and not someone's residence. And not that I'm complaining but what I'm sitting on isn't suitable for more than what I've used it for; a momentary place to rest. Other than that this pile of blankets could never serve as a real bed for someone. No matter how wide or thick it is. It wouldn't hold.

"This," I gesture with a skeptical flick of my eyes about the room. "Is where you live? This hut?"

"When I don't have a stranger in my bed, yes it is. This is where I live."

Oh, so I'm in _his_ bed then. And that must mean that this is _his_ hut. But then where does his little friend stay? Is there another hut? There has to be. Maybe there's more out _here_ than I think there is. I admit that I'm jumping to conclusions even though I said that I wouldn't. "How long have I been here?" I change the subject.

"Not for too long." He says. I'm afraid to ask him to count the days.

"Is there a doctor here?"

Cody turns. "A _doctor_?" He frowns. I stare at him blankly and he stares at me.

_Is he serious?_ "Yes..." I say but it does nothing to help Cody understand or so it seems because he looks away and my blood turns cold. Why does it seem as if Cody has never even heard the word _doctor_ before? "I need _help_." I explain. "I need a doctor-"

"Doctor? It can help?" He cocks his head to the side with a quizzical squint, "With what?"

"With being _sick_, or hurt, like me." I say. I'm trying here but I'm seriously about to freak the fuck out because how is it that he doesn't know what a doctor is? How is that even possible?

"Oh well that's me then. _I've_ been helping you."

I close my eyes in a long blink out of frustration. This isn't good, so not good. "A doctor is someone who studies illness so they can help people when they get sick. They can give me medicine-"

"Well then we don't have one of those," Cody says and I'm still pretty sure he has no idea what that word doctor means. Or medicine. "not out here anyway..." He moved away from the fire and took a seat next to me on the edge of the makeshift bed, "I take care of us when we're sick." He looks reluctant, like he won't relax sitting this close. I don't blame him. I wouldn't trust me either. But we can deal with that later. I don't need him to trust me to answer me.

I shake my head and force myself to keep going. I can't give up yet just because there's isn't a doctor and my shoulder's shot. I can get by without one and I can make a sling out of something for my arm in the meantime. I'll be fine. "How close to the nearest town from here?"

"Um…" Cody frowns again. "..._Town_?"

Oh no. Oh boy. I drop my head down to my hand and bite back a groan.

"A town is a place where-" Wait, hang on. I lift my head as a worrisome thought pops into my mind that won't go away until I ask. "Are you savages?" That's probably not politically correct but a better word escapes me at the moment. I mean, he doesn't know what a doctor does or what a _town_ is. What else am I supposed to think?

Cody's head jerks back. "No. Are **you**?" He scowls, his blue eyes darkening.

"No." I almost smile at the anger flushing Cody's face. He's a bit on edge this one, but then again I did just ask him if he was a savage and since he knows the meaning of the word I'm an asshole. Go me.

Cody stands with the scowl still on his face and scoffs at me. "_Savages,_" He shakes his head. "Do I look like a savage to you?" He returns to the fire, picks up the stick and goes back to poking. I think he's more at ease there. Probably because it puts some distance between us. At least he tried though.

"No." I say. Honestly I don't know what Cody looks like. I've never seen anyone like him before. But I guess if I were to put a label on him I'd have to go with…_exotic._Yeah, that's the one. I should have known better than to ask if he were anything different. But then again I should really stop jumping to conclusions.

I drop my gaze and think of giving up on Cody, who despite being the man who rescued me from certain death, isn't very forthcoming. He must be doing this on purpose, possibly still trying to get a good reading of me before he opens up and says too much? I don't blame him. In fact he is wise to be cautious and he has every right to worry because any other man like me _would_ be a threat. But not me. I'm no killer, I tell you, and I won't hurt this Cody fellow if he doesn't hurt me.

"So how do you survive out here? What do you do for food?" I try for more and look up at him just as Cody shrugs. "I catch our meals so we manage, why? Are you hungry?"

My stomach tightens. "No," I say. I just wanted to see what my chances of eating were. But I'm really not all that hungry, mostly still just pretty tired.

"I see. And, um, thank you for helping me-"

"No thanks necessary."

I frown. Why cut me off? "No, _thank you,_" I repeat and he turns. We stare. I just want him to know that I'm thankful for his generosity and helping hand, that's all. Why would he deny me that? "You could have just left me where you found me-"

"Yes, I could have," He agrees. "But that would have made me a _savage_. So here you are."

"And I thank you."

"…"

_O…kay…_

I shake my head. He just won't let that _savage_ thing go will he? I give up. He won't accept my thanks and I'm not going to beg him.

I stop myself from rolling my eyes. I have to be patient. I can't snap on him like I would anyone else with his attitude. Unless of course I _want_ to get thrown out on my ass in this weather and end up in worse shape than I'm already in. _No thanks._ "Look, I didn't mean to offend you-"

"You didn't." I can see him holding back, like he wants to say more but just won't. I'll change the subject. Maybe that will help?

"Are there any ships or boats here?" Fat chance, I know. But I have to ask.

"No," He says. "The best chance you have of getting off of the island is to wait until the season change. That's the only time the big ships cross the horizon in the distance. If you're lucky you can find something to use and paddle your way out to them, if the barrier is calm enough."

Damnit that is NOT what I wanted to hear. Just the thought of "paddling" through the ocean again makes me cringe. I'm too weak for that. And not to mention the fact that I'll have to risk crossing a barrier that, by the sounds of it is quite questionable using nothing but something I will have to make so I can _paddle _my way along. _Sounds impossible_. But what choice do I have if I want to get back home?

I bite back a sigh. Suck it up, Randy. "How long is it until the next ship passes by?"

Cody shrugged again and it makes me tense, "A while."

I frown as I feel myself start to lose my patience, "A while? Like how long is awhile?" I ask, "Days? A Week? Do you have no concept of time?"

"Well let's see, it's June so it's _summer_, and since the ships come at the changing of the season then my guess would be that before _fall_ is when you should expect them next. That would be about _August_." He turns with his eyes dark, shooting daggers in my direction, "That comprehensible? Or do I need to count the days for you?"

_Ouch_. Okay so he isn't some ignorant island native. But give me a break he doesn't know what a doctor does or what a town is. I admit I jumped to conclusions again but cut me some slack. He should too. I let my gaze briefly drop to my lap.

"Why don't you tell me who _you_ are?" He says.

"What?" Damn. I haven't even told him my name yet. I can't believe I did that. No wonder Cody's so _touchy_ with me.

"I said why don't you tell me who YOU are? Seeing as how you're the stranger here, Mr…"

"I'm Randy, Randy Orton," I introduce myself fully out of respect in hopes it will win me some points. Because I'm failing fast here and I haven't even made it to my feet yet. "I'm just a guy trying to get back home to his family." I say. That's the truth. I just want to be at home with my beautiful Samantha in my big warm bed in my small home. And my freedom. Something tells me I'm not quite free yet. Not that I'm a captive here but, still. I have a gut feeling there's a lot more going on here on this island than what Cody has told me. It's what he _hasn't_ told me that worries me. Like for example, who is _Zak_? And why hasn't Cody mentioned him?

"I see," Cody nods once although truthfully it doesn't seem as though he's really listening as his eyes flick between me and the fire blankly, "And where did you come from?"

"I'm from the America's, I'm a merchant." I lie and come up with a quick back story to cover it. "I was returning home with my shipment for my business when I got caught up in the storm."

"So, you're not a soldier then?"

I hesitate to answer. "No," I shake my head. "But some of the men on the ship are…or _were_."

My friends that I'd made aboard the ship were all "deserters" like me and although I hadn't known them before then I knew them enough to feel saddened by the thought that they hadn't survived. I admit that it's also disturbs me to be here alone like this. What I would give to see a familiar face right now, even if it's one that I don't like, although everyone on board the sunken vessel seemed okay in my book. For the trip home that is. Other than that I didn't really know but just a handful of them. Well, I kind of knew them.

I look away from Cody to a spot on the ground, not really focusing on it just, looking. Those poor bastards. Every man on that damn ship was a good man just trying to get home to the family they'd been forced to abandon for the army who wanted to take decent, genuinely good human beings and turn them into coldhearted killers. Every man on that ship didn't want a thing to do with that and that includes the dangerous reputation of being a soldier for the army that rules the seas because when you're a soldier no one can see you as anything else. You're a soldier, a man trained to follow orders and kill at a moment's whim. And everyone **looks** at you like you're going to hurt them at any moment. But that's what the" army who rules the seas" wants people to think. They WANT people to fear and turn against us so we have no other place to go but back to the army where they'll use us up until there's nothing left. Bastards.

"Do you think the army might come looking for you here?" Cody says.

I jerk my head up as Cody turned away from the fire, looking down at me with the glimmer of the soft flames flickering across his clear blue eyes that still seem too bright to be real. Fuck ALL of this shit is unreal_. This whole goddamn mess!_

But Cody's question, I almost want to laugh, because hell no the army isn't going to come looking for me. I'm a "deserter". A traitor. The army could care less about what happened to me after they put me on that fucking ship. But if they were going to look and if they _did_ care, they might come here. They _might_. But I can't say for sure. I don't know how off course I am. Hell I don't know shit about where I am.

"I don't know." I say honestly, "They might come looking, but not for me. Why? Has the army been here before?"

"No and I'd like to keep it that way." He says and he drops the stick beside the fire. "The army is not welcome here. It nor any of its cowardly _soldiers_." He looks serious.

I scowl. Cowardly? He doesn't know shit about us if that's what he thinks. That rude motherf- okay. **No**. Calm down Randy. You're not a soldier anymore remember? You're a merchant and you know nothing about the army or its _cowardly_ soldiers. Got it? Good. _Don't defend yourself_.

"You should be safe." I say. It's a lie. "The soldiers that were aboard the ship were deserters so I doubt the army would come looking for them to begin with, much less come all the way out here." Okay that much is true although I can't really say for sure if Cody and his friend are safe. But still I'm a liar and for the moment I'm glad I am. Because by the sound of it if I had admitted to being a soldier I might be in some deep shit right now and out on my ass with my busted shoulder and no place to go.

"Good." Cody says. "I'd hate to have to ask you to leave."

Crap. I ease the scowl from my face. This isn't going well. I don't know what I was expecting but Cody's untrusting demeanor definitely isn't it. Not that I'm expecting this to be an easy moment for either of us but still, Cody could be a little more understanding. And I guess I could too. But he's certainly not making it easy. That's not really his fault though because he can't control where I washed up. It's just easier to take my anger out on him and although it's making me feel a little better it's not exactly _helping_ me right now.

I do my best to soften my face. Cody's remains expressionless. "Please, let me stay." I ask him and Cody frowns. But fuck it if that makes me look weak. I have my pride but now is not the time for that. I need a place to stay until I'm well enough to fight my way home and that's the bottom line. So my ego can chill the fuck out because it's not going to provide me shelter or _food_. _Just a swift kick in the ass._ "I'm not a soldier." I lie. "I'm just a merchant trying to get home, that's all."

Cody's chin rises, his eyes narrowing slowly like he's trying to read me and either doesn't like what he sees or, he can't. He stops but his eyes remain small. He can't. Good.

"Well, Randy the _merchant_," He says the last word with a hint of skepticism, "You have only but a few choices here. First being you get better, build yourself something sturdy enough to get beyond the barrier and leave. Second is that you stay here and hide from Zak until the ship comes. Or you go to Zak and **ask** to stay."

"Who is Zak?" Finally. I was afraid to even bring him up. I guess I didn't want him to know that I'd heard he and his friend talking that night. I don't know why.

"Zak runs the island." Cody states. "And he will not like it that you're here without invitation."

"Even though I'm not a threat?"

"_That_ has yet to be proven." Cody plants a hand on his hip with a . "But for now I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Zak on the other hand? He won't be so generous."

"What would happen if I went to Zak instead of hiding?" Why _do_ I have to hide? It's not like I came here on purpose. I mean I'm not here to steal his island or hurt anyone. Why should I have to hide? This Zak guy is smart enough to run the island so maybe he'll be more reasonable about this than Cody's implying. Maybe I can talk some sense into him?

"He might kill you." Cody says, his blue eyes darkening yet again as he stares down at me. "Or he might ask you prove yourself to him and let you stay."

"How do I make _that_ happen?" Prove myself? I don't like the sound of that but perhaps it's worth a shot. Once I've recovered enough that is.

"You shouldn't worry about that." Cody quickly shakes his head. "You should just hide here with Justin and I if you're planning on leaving. It's best that you just avoid Zak all together."

"Wouldn't it be safer for me to go to this Zak person-?"

"You could try." Cody sighs, "But Zak is not a very understanding man and he won't like a stranger on his island, much less one that's as big as he is."

I blink, stunned. What the? As big as he is? "He'd be put off by my size? Even if I plead my case-"

"Won't matter."

Shit. I shake my head, "I don't want to cause any trouble here."

"Then you had best stay put."

"Alright." I'll stay. I'll keep my happy ass right here for as long as I need until I heal and then I'll risk it and deal with this _Zak_ guy on my own. As big as he is? Please, my size doesn't matter and neither does his because I'm not here to hurt anyone goddamn it. I just want to get the fuck home and _surely_ this Zak person will understand that.

Cody turns and walks towards the pile of wood by the door. I guess we're done.

I shake my head. Whatever. Enough of this. I need to get my ass moving and stop being such a chicken shit and test my legs. I've let myself sit here for too damn long.

I use my good hand to form a fist that I mash into the blankets, turning myself so that my legs drag and fall from beneath the blanket to the floor. So far so good. I take a deep breath as I push my hand harder into the bed. My legs are heavy but they respond, my feet flattening against the ground. I'm doing it. I think. But much weaker than I was hoping for. I start to rise and manage to hold onto the blanket with the arm against my waist. Go me.

My elbow buckles, my legs giving way within seconds. Shit. What is this? I'm telling my body to move, my legs to tighten and flex to bare my weight, but nothing's happening. I try again, my arm shaking hard but my legs respond and lift. I start to rise, my whole body shaking. Shit. Even if I do make it who says I'll be able to actually stand?

My knees start to buckle but I keep pushing, rising up further and further while every part of my body screams for me to stop. But I won't. I can't. Damnit it I can _do_ this. Just a little bit further. I clench my teeth. My legs shake hard and I almost drop the blanket. But I'm up.

My back straightens, my face tightening in a grimace. I can't move. I'm standing but swaying back and forth, my toes aching as I flatten them against the ground for balance. Fuck. My legs are so weak they can't seem to do more than hold my weight. But at least I'm standing.

"Shit." Something quivers within my knees and I hiss as I feel myself start to fall over. Shit shit shit shit!

"Careful!" Cody suddenly catches me, his strong hands squeezing around my arms. They keep me up. Our eyes meet. God please don't let him laugh at me.

But he quickly and gently lowers me down to the bed. I thank him as he moves his hands to my shoulders to steady me as I sway. We stare. Again. "You're still too weak." He says softly and drops his gaze. "Come on, lie back down."

I nod. He's right and standing up had been a terrible idea. I wasn't ready.

I keep staring at him as I slowly turn and bring my legs back up on the bed. "Thank you..."

He glances at me but only for a moment and his eyes are gone. "You're welcome..."

Wow. I almost thank him again just for saying you're welcome but don't. I don't want to push it. I lie back down and Cody grabs the edge of the blanket and pulls. He helps cover me and yet, it's almost like he's avoiding me because he won't look at my face. Damnit he won't let me see his eyes.

Is he sad? No, that's not quite enough. He's withdrawn and not just because of me but that's just him in general. Like something's been taken from him, something he loved with everything he had and when he lost it a part of him died. A **huge** part that left him looking empty, defeated and entirely jaded. Of course I can't say what or who he might have lost but I can't imagine living out here on this _island_ has made it any easier. But maybe that's just it. Maybe it's being _here_ that's done this to him?

"Why do you stay here?" I say. I know I'm pushing it again but I just can't stop myself. I feel like I just have to know.

"Excuse me?" He looks up at me from the end of the bed.

"If you know the ships come every time the seasons change then, why haven't you tried to leave?"

"Where would I go?" His tone rises with confusion, "And how do you even know I wish to leave? This is my home...How could I ever leave?"

"Sorry it's just..." I search his eyes and see the anguish burning in the deep pools of clear blue and want to flinch from the intensity. Cody moves away, approaching the dying fire and only proving my point that there's something that's just not right with him.

"It doesn't seem like it's very exciting around here, you know? It's the real quiet life-"

"Your life doesn't sound exciting either." He interrupts, "But then again the life of a _merchant_can't be too exciting, I'm sure..."

"No," I say with a firm shake of my head, "…it's not." but the life of a soldier? Yeah, kind of exciting, depending on the person; which used to be me because there was a time when I found what I did exciting, especially the training where I learned how to subdue a man in so many ways that I honestly lost count at ten. I'm a lean mean, ass-kicking machine and I look like just that; built from head to toe with sharp, strong muscles, my legs long and thick with pure strength and definition of the rock hard muscles within. Yeah, I look like a soldier. And before I was ordered to start killing people I had a lot of fun doing it. And I _look_ like it.

Damn it I wish I had picked something else to lie about. I mean of all the choices in the world I chose a merchant? Really? I don't look like a fucking _merchant_.

"Hey, Cody, look what I found! I think it might have come from that ship!"

_Justin_. I recognize his voice from before. Funny. I was just wondering when he was going to make an appearance. Where could he have been during this shit weather?

Cody turns as the door to the hut opens inward and Justin rushes inside with a strong wind that seemed to blow him in. And behind him, dragging against the ground is a duffle bag.

"Oh yeah? What is it?" Cody's tone is much lighter now, much friendlier than it was towards me.

"It's a bag!"

My eyes widen. Fuck, it is a bag. A dark green one that I recognize instantly. Because it's _mine_. Shit. I know it's mine. Because I can see my soldier number in thick block lettering stamped across the middle of it. 685. That's **me**. Fuck I can't believe that it made it after losing it during the storm. I'd tied it to my waist before jumping off the ship and hoped for the best. But it wasn't long before I realized it was gone and I hadn't thought about it since. I mean it's just a bag. Not mine but the armys that's obviously water proof and lined with a special material to keep it afloat. Too bad I didn't think of that at the time but it does explain a bit though. Because that must be where that gash on my stomach came from. It was my bag being ripped away from my body by the tremendous waves that tried to tear my ass apart.

"Can I see that?" I ask and maybe too quickly because both Cody and Justin look at me in surprise.

"Uh, yeah." Justin says. "Sure." He comes towards me with the bag. _MY BAG._ "I figured you would want to go through it." He lifts the bag onto the bed between my feet. I sit up again, eyeing the smaller man carefully as he smiles at me.

"Hi, I'm Justin..."

I force a nod, "I'm Randy." I hope this kid doesn't try to lift up my blankets again. I'm flattered but so NOT in the mood for that right now. And it's not that he's ugly or horrible to look at or that he's just so repulsive because he's not. He is kind of short though. But he's built, strong, his muscles hard and chiseled like Cody's only his skin is much darker. And his eyes are brown. They match his hair that's so long it hangs over his forehead against his brow. But I still don't want him to hit on me. He's cute and I'm sure he's nice but if he tries to lift my blankets again I might slap that smile right off his face.

"So…How are you doing?" Justin looks at me and then over his shoulder at Cody as if to check on the both of us at the same time. I don't get to answer.

"Justin, what have you done to your elbow!" Cody sudden gasps and quickly approaches his friend with concern widening his eyes, "You're all banged up! What did you do!"

"I'm okay." Justin shrugs his attentions off, turning to his friend. "I saw the bag in the rock bed and when I went to get it I slipped. No big deal." He lifts his elbow, curling his arm against its self so his hand plopped against his own shoulder "See?" He presents his bloody underarm. "It's not too bad. Just a couple of scrapes."

"Damnit, Justin." Cody snaps. "How many times have I told you to stay off the rocks! They're too dangerous!"

"I'm _fine_, Cody."

"No, you're not. Come here." He grabs Justins shoulder and guides him towards the fire but to do what I'll just have to watch and see.

Cody reaches for something over the fire I hadn't noticed before, a small black pot. He pulls out a piece of cloth, grimacing as he squeezes away the excess water. It must be hot. Justin sighs, looking anywhere but at Cody. "I can do this myself, you know."

"Just be still." Cody snipes. But he's gentle as he places the cloth over Justin's elbow, slowly wiping the wounded flesh. "That hurt?"

"No." Justin rolls his eyes. "It's _fine_."

"I can't believe you were messing around on the rocks again. Didn't you learn anything from the last time you were out there and nearly broke your fool neck? I swear, Justin, you have a fucking death wish lately and it's getting on my last nerve."

"It's just a few cuts, Cody. I'm **fine**."

"Yeah, _this_ time you're fine. But what about next time when you fall and really fuck yourself up? Then what would we do?"

"Oh for fucks sake, Cody!" Justin laughs and shakes his head. "You're so dramatic!"

"Am not." Cody frowns but doesn't look up from his task of gently dabbing away at the blood still coating Justin's elbow. "I just don't want to find you dead, Justin. You had no business playing around on the rocks in this weather and now look at you. You're lucky you didn't _break_ anything."

"I'm _fine_, Cody." Justin takes his elbow away and smiles up at his friend, his other hand coming up and caressing Cody's shoulder slowly. "Stop worrying, alright? I can clean this up myself."

"I-I know." Cody stutters, his hand clutching the bloody rag slowly dropping to his side in defeat. "But fine, do it yourself." He sounds irritated.

Justin's smile grows, "I will." He takes the rag from Cody's hand and places it against his elbow. "See?"

Cody rolls his eyes. I don't blame him. Justin is fully grown but seems awfully childish and not that I have a right to think this but, Justin must really drive Cody insane out here if this is the way he always behaves. He would me.

"Make sure you get it clean, Justin. I don't need you getting sick too. I've got my hands full with the _merchant_ as it is."

"Merchant?"

"That's what _he_ is." They look at me. "Or that's what he SAYS he is."

I stop looking at them. I shouldn't be eavesdropping anyway. I reach for my bag. Cody jumps. I freeze instantly, my hand still in midair. He looks at me, the concern for his friend quickly leaving his face as he stares at me. What? Did I do something wrong here? I drop my hand, arching a questioning brow as Cody starts to frown. What the hell I didn't even do anything.

"What?" I say. Cody doesn't believe that I'm a merchant, _I get it_. But he could cut me some slack and hound me later. And anyway right now I can't even stand on my own so what in the hell is he worried about? So what if I'm not a merchant, you know? We've already established that I'm not going to hurt anyone here.

"Nothing." Cody says and looks at Justin who's still tending to his wound with the rag and careful fingers.

"I'm going to fetch dinner from the pond before it floods, are you coming?"

Justin's head jerks up and he looks almost startled by Cody's question, "Huh? Oh, no thanks, I think I'll stay and get to know our new friend Randy here."

"Suit yourself." Cody says and shoots me another glare. What the fuck?

I frown and Cody turns away. Why do I get the feeling that he just warned me not to touch his friend while he's gone? Fuck it I know he did. But even if he hadn't I wasn't going to hurt Justin, god damnit. Even if the guy comes onto me which judging by the way Justin has already looked me over with a very noticeable _fiery_ lust in his eyes will be soon. Hell I just might be prying the little guy off of me before the night is over. But I wouldn't hurt him for it. I shake my head at both of them and fight the urge to cross my arms. This is just great. One of them is mad at me for being here and the other one wants to get into my pants so bad he can't even hide it when he looks at me.

_Oh for fucks sake, Randy. What have you got yourself into now?_ This is so not my fault. _Right. But it will be if you do anything stupid._ I won't.

I reach for my bag again. Fuck it. I'll try to win him over later and maybe by then I'll have come up with a way to do so AND have figured out why I care about this so much.

Cody leaves and I pretend not to watch him as I drag my bag down the bed between my legs. I still can't believe it made it. There's not much in it but some clothes a few other _special_ items I can't do without but it's better than what I had ten minutes ago. Which was nothing.

"Sorry about that." Justin says and plops down on the end of the bed by my feet. "Cody's a bit anxious with you here, I think. But yeah, how are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm alright." I look up at him for a moment and stop what I'm doing as Justin smiles at me with his clean elbow on his knee and his chin in the palm his hand. My isn't he _friendly_.

"That's good. And it's nice to see you awake. By the looks of you I was starting to worry that you weren't going to pull through."

"Looks can be deceiving." I force a smile. "Thank you for helping me." I say. And I hope this one actually accepts my gratitude instead of becoming angry about it.

"They sure can." His eyes brighten and his tone is entirely flirtatious. Oh boy. "And you're very welcome, I'm glad you made it."

I look down at my bag again and fight the urge to squirm. "I'm not quite out of the woods yet. Your friend Zak might come along." I point out. "Or Cody might throw me out-"

"What?" Justin lifts his head with a frown. "What makes you say that?"

I look at him again with a sideways smile. "It's just a hunch."

"He doesn't trust you, that's all."

I nod. If I were Cody I wouldn't trust me either. But Justin on the other hand, the boy with the wandering eyes? I don't know if he would be so wise. He's already sitting so close, eye-fucking me hard and shamelessly trying to flirt with me. I bet he's already thought about my dick again. Hell he's probably thinking about it as we speak.

I smirk. Too bad he'll never get to touch it or see it again. Or any other part of me because my days of exploring that side of me are **over, **I promised. And I'm not going to go back on my word to Samantha. Not for Justin. Not for anyone. I am a man and that is not something men do.

"How about you, do you trust me?" I keep my tone light.

"...No." Justin says after a long moment as he thought it over. "But that doesn't mean I _couldn't _trust you."

I nod. "Can I trust _you_?"

"Really?" Justin laughs in surprise, his eyes widening slightly. "You see **me** as a threat?"

"...Why wouldn't I?" Justin is strong and short or not he could do some damage if he wanted to. His arms are bulging with pure muscle. His chest, abdomen and legs are all tightly sculpted with incredible strength and soft tan flesh that looks just as young as his face does. How is this man not a threat? Small or not I'm at his mercy on this island away from my home and everything and everyone I hold dear. So of course I see him as a threat, especially since I'm injured.

Justin's smile never falters as he shrugs, "I don't know, never had anyone worry about me hurting them before." His smile widens as he shakes his head, "And believe me I'm not going to do anything to you, _I'm_ the peaceful one."

I arch a brow. The peaceful one? I can tell that's a stretch but if it isn't then, what does that make the mysterious Cody? I don't get a chance to ask.

"So you're a merchant?" Justin says.

"Yes."

"Hmp. Interesting. What do you sell?"

"Whatever I can get my hands on." I say. "I go where the money is."

"And you're successful?"

"I do okay." Until now. I could be better, you know? I could be at home with Samantha, far away from this terrifying mess and the hopeful Justin who's once again checking me out, his hungry brown eyes roaming over me slowly. I fight the urge to squirm. Fuck I wish he would stop that. I want Cody to come back and glare at me, I'd much rather have him do that then Justin eye-fucking me.

"But what about the two of you, how do you fare out here alone?" I change the subject. I don't want to keep talking about my lie anyway. Because the less I do the less likely I am to be caught.

"We do alright. When it's not raining, that is. Lately it's done nothing but rain so we have to stay inside a lot but, before that it wasn't so bad. And we get to go to the village sometimes when Zak comes by and if he feels up to taking the both of us back with him."

"And what do _you_ think would happen if I met _Zak_?" I say and arch my brows. Just curious.

"Welllll," Justin drags out, "Not to scare you or threaten you but I don't think you should meet him because Zak would probably kill you. Not that you're a bad guy but you're big like he is and he won't like that."

"That's what your friend said." I want to roll my eyes but don't. This Zak guy sounds like a real prick if you ask me. And he's also _incredibly_ insecure.

"Yeah, well, Cody's right. Zak won't like it that you're here so you're better off hiding with us until you're well enough to build something sturdy enough to get beyond the barrier."

"And where is Zak? Is he on the island too?"

"Zak's here he's just not _here_. Actually Cody and I stay out here by the water but the rest of our people are just on the other side of the mountain and yes our _Chief_ lives there as well."

"And your _chief_ makes the two of you live out here by yourselves?" I still don't understand. Why is it just these two who seem to be banished to the edge of the island? Why no one else but them?

Justin nods, his smile faltering around the edges, "Yes, it's-it's just us."

I tilt my head with a frown. "Why?"

"Because Zak wants it that way," He shrugs. "…so here we are."

"No," I shake my head, "I mean, why is it that he wants the two of you out here like this? Why can't the two of you stay in the village with the others instead of being isolated on the beach?"

"Because Cody is Zak's chosen lover," Justin explains so casually it takes me off guard, "and to keep Cody safe from the other villager's greedy hands he sent him out here."

I blink and can't believe my ears because, lover? Wait a minute. "What about you?" I know Justin's gay but what I don't know if why _he _is allowed to be out here with Cody and no one else is? That's strange, isn't it?

"I'm the exception. Zak knows that I won't touch Cody like that."

"So, then, you're not _like that_." I'm confused. Didn't he lift up my blankets and look at my-wait, didn't Justin say I was bigger than Zak? Right. So Cody is gay too. I can't believe I forgot. They're both gay. And I washed up on an island full of fags…Sorry, _homosexuals_...Yeah this just just keeping better and better doesn't it?

"Oh no, I am," Justin smiles proudly, "but Cody and I have the same…um, _preferences_, if you know what I mean?"

"I do." I understand and Justin doesn't have to say anything more. I get it. They both like to take it up the ass rather than give it and somehow that doesn't surprise me about Justin because the boy _looks_ like he would enjoy that. But Cody? Now that is a bit shocking.

Granted I don't know the guy but I certainly didn't get _bottom_ from him. If I had guessed it would have been _top_ simply based on his attitude and of course if I had gone off his build I definitely would have assumed top…wait, why am I even thinking about this? What do I care what he is? As long as he keeps that shit to himself, it's not an issue and none of my damn business. I'm **not** going down that road again because I have my beautiful Samantha now. My days of exploring are over. I gave my word…I admit that I have to keep telling myself this. And it's not the first time.

Justin observed my silence with an arched a brow, "That a problem for you?"

"No." I answer quickly and meet his gaze, grabbing my bag, toying with the string, absently wrapping it around my index finger. "Your preferences don't concern me." Why does that feel like a lie? _Because it is_.

"Good." He says as he stands and he looks utterly pleased with that flirtatious glimmer still shinning bright in his eyes. It almost makes me laugh how bad he wants me. _Almost_. It also makes me realize yet another reason why Cody had been so touchy with me, he was afraid I was going to make a scene about his _preferences_. He thought I was a _bigot_. I'm assuming.

I shake my head as I pull on the string, closing the bag nice and tight. Fuck it I'll look through it later. I grab a handful of it and lift it, dropping it to the floor.

"You tired?" Justin asks, his tone soft. I nod. I really am and this has all been a bit much for me. _Too much_…

With the bag out of my way I let myself fall back, pulling the blanket up to my chest even though Justin isn't looking at my chest. He's looking at my groin. I guess he liked what he saw. But whatever I'm starting to hurt again and I'm way too tired to worry about it. He and the contents of my bag can wait. And so can the rest of this shit.

I turn onto my side away from Justin and the fire, careful of my shoulder by holding my arm and guiding it to rest over my aching ribs, closing my eyes and praying that I'll awake from this nightmare. I finally let out a sigh. Fuck I just want to go home. Even if I'm not wanted there I'd rather face that than this fucking island and its _chief_ and its hidden village and its bullshit barrier that probably won't let me pass no matter what I build to _paddle _my way out of here. Just about anything would be better than waking up here where no matter what I do I'm going to find myself in a world of trouble that I don't know if I can handle.

Ishudder at just the thought. I'm so emotionally numb, on purpose. And I don't think it's actually sunken in yet but let's face it, I'm **stuck** here. The only way out is a ship or two that passes by every so often and even then I can only hope that I've managed to build something strong enough to make it to them. _What if I can't? Jesus what if I can't get home?_ I need to face the possibility of that AND the high possibility that some asshole named Zak might want to KILL me for washing up on HIS island.

"Justin?"

"Yeah?" He replies softly. Good, he's still here.

"How-How long was I asleep?" Time isn't on my side. I am not welcome here. I do not belong. And the longer I'm here the less likely it is that I will be found.

"…A while…" He hesitates. But why?

"How long's a while?" I cringe. Fuck that's what Cody said. He said, _a while_.

"…Eight days."

Shit.

Fuck.

_God damnit_.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO LEAVE REVIEWS: Ortonfan, Candy-loves-me, LegacyChick, Lururi, xenasoul, takers dark lover, 80icrazy80, AmarettoLove—You guys are amazing! As for the ones who don't review: Booo! :P Lurkers! **

Eight days. I still can't believe it. Actually, make that nine now. And my chances of being found out here? Make that none. It's been too long and if I was going to be rescued from this god forsaken island it would have happened already and I wouldn't be waking up to strange noises and muffled voices of the men who pulled my sorry ass ashore. I'd be at home by now, kicking back with some ale and my fiancé on my knee. Nothing sexual though, Samantha wants to wait until we're married to share intimacy but even so I'd much rather be fighting my desires with her than lying here where I've realized just how incredibly _fucked_ I really am.

I slept through the night. But I'm awake now, laying here utterly frozen and holding my breath. It's still dark in the hut but I can feel the heat of the sun warming the air. I just wish that was what had woken me. And I pray the heavy breathing, muffled moans and gasps are just my imagination and that I'm just stuck in an incredibly convincing dream that will end at any moment when my eyes open and reveal the horrible trick my mind is playing on me.

But you see that's the thing, my eyes ARE open. And they have been for _several_ minutes now.

I'm still on my side on the far edge of the bed, my back stiff, aching, begging me to move although I won't. My stomach doesn't feel right but that comes and goes and I've chalked it up to nerves about the noises I'm hearing but somehow I don't think that's really what it is. Because it's not just a heavy feeling or the fluttering in my gut, there's a strange _ache_ there too. But for what, am I hungry? I don't think so.

"I want it." I hear Justin moan in a breathy tone and it's not the first time. "Oh Cody, please let me have it I promise I'll do it so good for you."

I swallow hard, fighting against the need to tremble at the same time. Shit. Shit. _Shit_. I can't believe they're doing this. I woke up to playful laughter and soft moans. But that's sure as hell not what I'm hearing now.

"No." Cody whispers sternly between soft, rapid breaths, his voice strained with arousal. "**We can't**."

"But, he's asleep…if-if we're _quiet_-"

"You never stay quiet when I fuck you, Justin. Look at you, you won't even stay quiet _now_ and I've barely touched you."

My eyes widen in horror. Oh god. I knew it. I can hear them kissing, the wet squishing of their tongues and labored breathing, the soft sucking of one good hard kiss after another. They're going to fuck. Exactly where they've chosen to do this I don't know because I can't see them but its close enough to wake me up.

Shit. They must have set up another bed in here. But, why would they do that, to fuck in front of me? Is this one of those weird sex games people play and they're getting off on me being in the same room? I…I don't know what I'll do if it is. I mean I can't sit up now and tell them to stop because then they'll know I was _listening_.

"Aw, come on we don't have to fuck, Cody." Another shuddery moan, "I-I just want to suck your cock."  
"No you don't. You'll suck me and then beg me to fuck you like you always do."  
"I won't this time, I promise!"  
"That's what you said _last_ time and if I remember correctly that night ended with us fucking not once but **twice**."  
"Yeah, so what? It would have been more if you had stopped acting like such a chicken shit-"  
"Hey! I was not afraid! Don't start with me!" I hear Cody hiss then a sharp slap of skin on skin and Justin gasp. "You know I can't stand your bratty mouth."  
"Aw, yes you can!" Justin snickers. "You love my bratty mouth and you know it."  
"Sure. I love it when it's not _moving_."  
"Ugh, _liar_. You love my mouth on your dick so don't even try to deny it."  
"Mm, doesn't matter what I like. Zak said _no_."  
"But, it's not fair! You-ohh" Justin groans and it's muffled, but I can still hear him.  
"Shh."  
"No! Please! I want it so bad, Cody. I need it!"  
"I said SHH!"

Justin whimpers in dismay but again it's muffled and again despite what I assume are his best efforts I can still hear him and their _kissing_ and something else that sounds a lot like skin hitting skin that's suddenly just loud enough to reach my ears. They'd grinding, undulating, thrusting, making out like two teens bursting with pent up lust and passion and I don't have to see it to know it. I know those sounds. I've made them plenty of times myself, but never with an audience.

Cody moans loud and I tense hard as my stomach flutters. My jaw aches as I grind my teeth. God damnit. Why are they doing this? Don't they have another hut they can do this shit in?

I think about sighing but stuff it down at the last second. I shouldn't let them know that I'm awake because now I've waited too long right? I should have thought of that the moment I woke up and overheard them kissing but for reason I didn't and now here I am, on the verge of having to listen to them fuck and if I let them know I'm awake now they'll know that I've been _listening_. Which is totally fucked right?

Damnit. What do I do? I already did my part because I **tried** to block them out but they're only getting louder and if I don't speak up soon I just might hear them actually _fuck_. Oh hell, I WILL hear them fuck.

I clench my jaw tighter. This isn't right. I thought Justin said he and Cody had the same preferences? So what in the HELL are they doing?

"Damnit I want to FUCK, Cody." Justin lets out a frustrated growl. "This isn't fair!"

"We **can't**. You fucking _know_ that shit, Justin. If Zak comes around and finds that I've been at your ass again he's going to send you back to the village. He already warned us about that! "

"I know and it's such **bullshit**, Cody. If we want to fuck we should be able to god damnit! He sticks us out here for weeks at a time and expects us to sit here and do nothing! Like we don't have feelings or-or wants or needs! He's such a bastard!"

"Shh!" Cody scolds. "Don't you think I feel that way too? This isn't fun for me either but at least we have each other for company and I'd like to keep it that way. We just have to make the best of this like we have been and once the _merchant_ is gone we'll go to Zak and ask him to reconsider keeping us out here, alright? Can you hold off until then?"

"I don't really have a choice." Justin mutters. "Since, _you're_ acting like a yellow belly and won't fuck me."  
"Shhh! Bitch! I'm not fucking scared. I'm TIRED. I don't want to listen to another lecture about loyalty and respect just because YOU couldn't hold out for a few more weeks. Zak said NO MORE. And he meant it!"  
"FINE." Justin huffs. "Maybe the merchant will wake up and fuck me?"

Oh no he won't. I scowl into the darkness, clutching the blankets hard. I'm not going to fuck Justin or Cody or anyone else on this fucking island. For once I'm going to keep it in my pants.

"You _wish_." Cody hisses and I detect a hint of jealousy in his tone.  
"Fuck yeah I do." Justin says. He lets out soft, excited gasp. "Oh god I bet he'd fuck me so good, Cody! Doesn't he look like a good fuck? I bet he's fucking **wild**. Mmm. It would be so hard and deep. Mmm, yeah, just the way I like."  
"Justin, **stop**." Cody growls. "Don't talk about him when you're with me."  
"Hmm, _jealous_. Don't worry. I'll let you watch-"  
"Fuck you." Cody sneers and Justin snickers.  
"Okay, okay, I'll stop if you let me suck your dick..."  
"Yeah? Get to it then. At least it will shut you the fuck up!"

Wow. Cody caved. I really thought he wouldn't. I'm both relieved and horrified that he did.

I draw my lip between my teeth, worrying it hard enough to hurt. Oh god. They're going to do it. Justin is going to suck Cody off right here and now and there's nothing I can do to stop them unless I say something which I can't because then they'll know that I've been awake long enough to listen! _Fuck_!

_Okay. __**Don't panic**__._ I clench my eyes shut tight, desperately trying to block the libinous moans and whimpers behind me as I beg my body to go back to sleep even though I know it's useless. But I have to try. I can't just lay here and listen to them fuck, god damnit. This shit is none of my fucking business and I wish these two were a bit more considerate of the fact that I'm RIGHT HERE. But I guess I can't rightfully blame them seeing as how this is _their_ hut, their bed, **their** island. And I have no right to tell them to stop. I just hope they put their bed far enough away from mine that I won't you know, get anything ON me…

"Mmm, you're so big, Cody."  
"Shhh."  
"Stop shushing me! He's not going to wake up!" Justin whispers sharply and Cody lets out a soft moan right after.

The room grows quiet for a moment, the silence ringing in my ears. But I know they're not finished, not even close. I bite my lip harder, pressing my face into the pillow. Please oh god please let me fall back to sleep so I can escape them. Please! Please! PLEASE! I don't want to hear this!

A soft sucking noise fills the air, Cody's breath quickens. _Oh god._

The sound turns wet, like a sloppy _slurping_ with too much spit. It stops and starts, a soft squish taking its place every few seconds in a steady, pleasurable rhythm that increases more and more as Cody moans and praises Justin with strained, heated words of encouragement.

Justin chokes. The noise stops. Justin's labored breathing fills the air.

"Mmm, _fuck_." Cody moans softly. "Such a tight little mouth…"  
"Fuck you're so hard, Cody." Justin pants. " You choke me, baby."  
"Mmm fuck! Do it, Justin. Choke on my shit."

_Woah_. I can't help it, my eyes dart back and forth rapidly. _Wow_ that was dirty. Choke on my shit? Heh. I-I used to say that. Do all guys say that? Or just those of us who have a big dick?... I wonder what Samantha would do if I told her that?

"Mmm, yeah, just like that." Cody groans and Justin chokes, gasping for air around Cody's cock again and again, whimpering between breaths..._Lucky bastards._

I hate this. I do. But I admit I'm just a tad bit jealous because it's been **ages** since I was intimate with someone. And I haven't even had a blowjob in over two years or more either because Samantha won't do it. No matter how much I beg she won't go down on me because it's "immoral" and "degrading". Or something ridiculous like that. Thruthfully though? I think she's afraid of my dick and she hides behind her church and quotes scriptures to me on how we can fight our evil needs with the words of God as if that will actually make me change my mind. It **never** does.

She's just afraid of my body and I could **still** go for a blowjob and Samantha **doesn't** have to be such a prude. And I don't say that just because I want to get what I want but because Samantha and I haven't even had sex yet and it would be _considerate_ of her to give me SOMETHING to tide me over, you know? She could at least take the edge off for me with a hand-job or some ball sucking but, nope. She sticks her nose up at all of that and has demanded numerous times that we wait until we're married to consummate our union. Which of course, I don't care for nor do I like the sound of it because she makes it seem more like a business arrangement than a marriage with all her rules and do's and don'ts. But whatever, I love her and eventually we'll be married and I can fuck her as much as I want. I hope. I think I'll go mad if she holds out on me because I can handle going without oral sex but anything else will make my head explode.

Sometimes my whole body aches for attention and release and although I've explained that to her time and time again she continues to fail to see my point or do anything to help me. She just calls me impatient and forces us to wait and that's what we do. We fucking **wait**_**.**_

It helped being sent overseas though. The intense, barbaric training I endured took my mind off of sex for a while because I was too exhausted to even _think_ about it but that was short lived. I mean I held out for as long as I could but I'm a guy and it's **impossible** not to think about sex, even when you're around a bunch of other men because let's face at the end of the day it we ALL want the same thing: a tight, hot hole to sink ourselves into. So yeah, I tried. But eventually I turned into a perverted horn-dog like all the rest of them and was more than happy to help as we passed around as many naked pictures of women we could get our hands on.

But none of us ever did something like what Cody and Justin are doing to each other. We wouldn't dare. Well, okay, I would have dared when I was _younger_ but I have Samantha now and yeah, you know the rest. I gave my word and I haven't thought about _it_ since. Not purposely anyway… I mean some nights when I lay there with an erection I do but fuck I NEVER get any attention from Samantha so it's not my fault.

It's not like I do it on purpose and when I do find myself thinking about _that_ I chalk it up to being human because I have needs, and because I'm a "_sexual deviant_".

See, I didn't wait until I was married to try sex and now I need it all of the time because I let the devil get a hold of me and bring these ugly lusts into my life. Or so Samantha says to me when she's pushing me away for the millionth time. And I guess she's right. Because I _was_ a deviant and back then when I was too young to know better I enjoyed every second of it. I'd take a blowjob from a man or woman and not think twice about it. And the sex? Fuck I had some great sex and I'm talking toe curling, intense, primal _fucking_ that yes, okay, I THINK ABOUT IT. I don't remember the guy's name or really what he looked like but the rest? Oh yes. I relive every moment of it during one of my slip ups.

Maybe I'm still a deviant, I'll admit that. But I'm repentant and I've seen the errors of my youth-

"Mmm, fuck, Justin. Right there, mmm, yeah, that's it."

I swallow hard. Oh god. They're getting louder, I-I can't hear myself think. I clench my eyes tight and try to think of a song to hum in my head. Anything's better than listening to them!

"You like it when I deep throat you dick, don't you Codes?" Justin asks and despite my best efforts I can clearly hear the sound of his mouth cover Cody's dick with a wet squish. I shiver. Shit shit shit. I can't think of a song!

Okay. Um. Uhhh…

_Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you-_

"Mmm, fuck yeah." Cody moans. "That feels so good, Justin. Fuck your throat is so tight!"

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ….HAPPY BIRTH-_

"Fuck! Justin!" Cody cries deep as a soft, wet _choking_ fills the air. I hear the spit, the squish of Cody's dick plunging down Justin's throat over and over.

_Oh god! This isn't working!_

My eyes open on their own as Cody let's out another elicit moan and praises Justin for his lovely throat. Fuck singing. I wish Samantha would choke on me like that. Or make me feel wanted. Well, okay, it's not that Samantha doesn't want me but she doesn't seem to want me like _that_. At least, not the same way I want her. But, I'm a guy and we're always horny and want sex so the comparison probably isn't fair, right?

Still, right or not I could go for a blowjob…A really long one that leaves my dick feeling raw and overstimulated and aching but in a good way. Like the last blowjob I received before I was introduced to Samantha.

The mouth was willing and hot, the tongue skillful and precise as it toyed with my balls, drawing them in, suckling on them, nibbling the hot flesh in all the right places. I remember holding their head while they sucked my dick down their throat, my fingers guiding them smoothly along my shaft. God it was incredible. They swallowed and choked and the vibration was intense. Fuck that made my stomach tighten and stole my breath so hard. They weren't the only one choking. But it was so good. They let me ram myself between their soft lips as hard as I wanted, their strong fingers wrapped firmly around my shaft, denying me over and over until I was dizzy and finally they let me come and I shot my load-

Wait. **Fuck**. What in the hell am I doing?

I tense hard, glaring into the darkness as I take a very careful deep breath and let it out slowly. Why am I even thinking about that shit right now? It's **not** helping. In fact it's doing the exact opposite because I'm starting to get _hard_.

I roll my eyes. Jesus. Of course I am. Because it's only the exact thing I _don't_ need right now but of course I'd fuck myself over like this. Of course I'd make this just that much harder for myself because I'm desperately trying to avoid the fact that I'm fucking _stuck_ here and instead of facing that I'm focusing on the islanders and my past sexual experience that in the end lead me to nowhere. I _should_ be thinking about a plan to get my sorry ass the hell out of here but the chances are so slim that I haven't even tried to think of anything. It's like I've already given up.

"Shhhit! Ah fuck!" Cody suddenly groans loud. _Too_ loud. Too CLOSE.  
"Cody, shh!" Justin whispers and a moment later Cody lets out a muffle moan.

What the f-that's too close! I frown hard, searching the darkness rapidly. Are they getting closer to me?-!

Why would they do that? Don't they-oh fuck! The blankets are moving! They're being pulled out from under me but I'm too heavy-the perfect leverage?-!

Cody's muffled voice fills the air with obscenities and moans that rumble from his chest entirely too close. I want to look to see where they are but I've waited too long and as I feel the blankets continue to move behind me my stomach tightens. They-they must be-

The blankets grow still. _What the fuck?_

My heart is racing in my ears, a cold sweat breaking out over my brow. I don't know how much more of this I can take-Shit! Something's **touching** me! On my side! What the fuck! It's warm, soft yet firm-fuck it's not a something. It's a _someone._ A hand!

I bite my tongue, holding my breath to stop a gasp as the wide, warm hand on my side slowly slides to a rest just above my hip. It stays there.

My eyes widen. Fuck fuck fuck! Not good! _NOT GOOD!-!_

The hand squeezes me, its strong fingers curling into my naked flesh, digging deeper and deeper as if telling me to turn over. _Oh god! I can't take this anymore!_

I start shaking my head and the hand tightens before the fingers sensually glide their way up my ribcage, touching every dip and curve with a purpose. _NO! _I jerk away before I can stop myself and have no choice but to sit up so I do, twisting around to find the body attached to the hand that fell away but still lets it's mark on my skin.

"What are you doing!" I shout into the darkness of the hut, my eyes struggling to adjust as they make out the silhouettes of the islanders beside me on the bed. My blood turns cold as I scan the scene. Cody's glaring up at me, panting, shaking his head on the pillow that's right beside mine. He's on his back, a hand wrapped around the back of his head while the other swipes at the sweat trickling down his forehead. Justin is almost too hidden to be seen but his head popped out from beneath the blanket, his brown eyes staring up at me in shock from deep between Cody's thick thighs.

Oh GOD! They've been there the whole time!

"What the fuck!" I blurt out in surprise as jerk around and scramble blindly in the darkness to get off the bed, kicking the blankets from my legs and slip backwards onto the ground. "What are you doing!" I say again and can feel my eyes widening with horror as Justin rushes to cover Cody up. He fails and I see everything I shouldn't and jerk my head up hard two seconds too late.

"What does it look like we're doing?" Cody sneers down at me. "Or don't you know what a _blowjob_ is?"

My stomach tightens. Oh god! "Right next to me?-!" I still can't believe this! They were right behind me, just inches away the entire fucking time! And not to mention, "You **touched** me!"

"It-it was an accident." Justin stutters slightly but his eyes tell me it's not out of fear but shame. He's actually ashamed after being caught. Which is more I can stay for Cody who is silent with his glare so icy and hard it makes me want to shiver.

But I don't. Because that's what he wants.

"Accident? You grabbed my side!" I shake my head rapidly. "Why were you even behind me? What is this to you, some sick game!"

"No. This is our bed too, you know." Justin starts gliding his hands down Cody's thighs as he sits up onto his knees, sighing heavily. "And we thought you were sleeping."

What the fuck did I just hear? _Their bed too?_ I thought this was **Cody's** bed? I thought Justin had his own-but he just said _our bed._ Not Cody's bed or his bed but OUR bed.

I shake my head. God damnit how could I have been so stupid? I should have known. "I WAS sleeping." I say breathlessly and without thinking and the look on Cody's face turns dark, or dangerous even.

I break eye contact, looking down at myself as a quick distraction.

Shit. I'm naked.

My head snaps back up as my hand flies out, snatching a lose blanket from the edge of the bed before either of them has a chance to see my shit, my hands shaking as I struggle to get my groin completely covered. Damnit I need my fucking **clothes**.

"Where else did you think we slept?" Cody suddenly asks angrily with a glare and turns onto his side, propping his head onto his hand, watching me hard. "I **told** you that this was my bed-"

"Yes but you didn't mention that you two were screwing in it while I'm fucking SLEEPING!" God how does he not see how wrong that is?

"You could always just sleep on the floor." Cody offers and Justin scowls at him before lightly smacking Cody's chest. They exchange a quick look only this time Justin's face is crinkled in a frown, his brown eyes glaring daggers at his friend. "Stop it. You're being a dick."

Cody rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He looks at me again, "It's up to you about how you want to deal with this, _merchant_. There's only one bed and Justin and I are already sacrificing and risking a lot keeping you here so if you want to complain about the sleeping arrangements, **save it**. Because we need a place to sleep too and we're not going to divide what little bedding we have just because you're uncomfortable with a little fellatio."

"Cody!"

"No." I stop Justin in a firm tone. Damnit I don't need to cause any trouble between these two or my ass will be out the door quicker than I can spit. "He's right. I shouldn't have acted like that." I say even though I'm still glaring at Cody and wishing I could smack that look off his face. But, fellatio? Awfully big word for someone who doesn't know what a _doctor_ is. Looks like I'm not the only liar around here.

"I'm the one invading your privacy, I get it." I say and look at Justin again. It just feels safer.

I'm right. Justin's eyes are much softer and understanding than Cody's.

"Sure you do." Cody reacts to my looking away with sarcasm that's so obvious he might as well have just come right out and said what he was implying.

Justin's face falls, his brown eyes filling with sadness as if to say he was sorry. I don't know what to say so I look away and I'm glad I did because now I can find my bag. I-I should really just get dressed and get out of here. If I'm lucky I'll have at least one pair of pants and _maybe_ a pair of boots in my bag...If I'm lucky.

"Why are you being so rude to him? What's he done to you?" Justin whispers to Cody but I hear him and reach for my bag. I don't remember if I stuffed any of my pants in it before I went overboard but it's worth a shot because weak legs or not I obviously have to get the fuck out of here.

"We can't just accept him into our home as if he isn't a complete stranger to us, Justin. Don't be so naive."  
"I'm not saying we have to let our guard down but you're being a **dick** to him and it's uncalled for." He slides back a little further with a resentful expression that darkens his already deep brown eyes. "And I'm not naive just because I'm being _nice_."

"It's okay." I interrupt as I position the bag between my legs. I find the draw string and hastily follow the length of it to the knot keeping everything tightly contained within. I hate having to kiss ass but I can't let myself ruin this, I'd have no place to go. "Please don't argue on my account. I should just learn when to keep my damn mouth shut."  
"Here here."  
"Cody!" Justin scoffs as he gives Cody's thigh another slap. "Knock it off!"

"No, it's alright, I get it. I'll be out of here as quick as I can so you don't have to treat me like shit just to make me want to leave." I can't believe I have to defend myself about being here. I didn't wash up on this fucking island on purpose. "I don't mean to impose-"  
"You're not imposing." Justin says with a reassuring, warm tone. "Cody's just being rude because he's weary of strangers. That's all."  
"Yeah," Cody agrees but his tone isn't friendly, not even close. "Especially strangers who claim to be something they're **not**."

My head snaps up. Our eyes lock in a suspicious, heated stare. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."  
"I think you do." Cody sneers.

Cody stares me down, his eyes so clear yet so full of hate. But beneath it, lying hidden within his anger is something else that doesn't belong: misery. Cody is sad. Is it living out here that;s killing him? Is that why he has such a chip on his shoulder? Or did he lose someone or something close to him that took a piece of him away? That would be my guess. He's lost something or someone and it left such a huge void in his soul that even when he tries to hide it he'll never seem truly complete...I feel sorry for him.

I soften my gaze and Cody blinks in surprise, confusion drawing his brow into a deeper frown. He wants me to be angry. He wants me to yell and fight back but I won't. Because whatever it is that he's missing or agonizing over must be eating at him and I'll be damned if I'm going to give him any more of an excuse to lash out at me. I simply just won't make it that easy for him. Besides I think he has enough to hate me for after I just freaked out on them. _Stupid_.

Justin lets out a heavy sigh. "That's enough, Cody-"  
"**Fine**." Cody looks away, glaring angrily at the smaller man still sitting between his legs.

Justin starts to lean back, sliding his legs out from under himself and quickly glides his small body to the edge of the bed, his feet emerging from the blankets and finding the floor. He looks irritated and yet still apologetic as he props his chin against his hand like before. "Sorry…"

I nod slowly and dare to glance at Cody's who instantly narrows his eyes at me, scowling at me as if I were the worst person he's ever laid eyes upon.

Cody's antagonizing me. But, why? Is he testing me? Does he need to see just how far he can push me before I snap on him and tell him to shut the fuck up? Because he's pretty fucking close to going too far and if I don't get my damn bag open and my pants on I'm going to say something really **stupid**. Like get my ass kicked out of the hut for good kind of stupid. Only I'm sure Cody will punch the shit out of me first.

I fumble anxiously with the string, almost trembling under Cody's anger glare. What the fuck is his problem anyway? I don't think it's my little freak out that's brought this on because he wasn't exactly _warm_ yesterday either...I'm confused. He saves my life only to treat me like shit? Fuck it's not like he didn't know what he was risking when he pulled me out of the water, he made that choice. I shouldn't be punished because of it.

"What are you doing?" Justin asks.

"I'm just looking for pants. I don't see my clothes anywhere. " I say without taking my eyes off the knot I'm struggling with. I tied it so hastily before jumping from the ship that it's taking me a minute. But I'm almost there, just one more knot.

"We had to tear your shirt off of you," Justin explains. "and your pants were all tattered and torn. Well, what was left of them anyway…"

I nod and keep going, my hands still trembling as I feel Cody continue to stare me down. _Asshole_.

It's awkward and quiet but after a long moment I finally free the string and the pry my bag open slowly, remembering to pretend like I've never seen it before as I reach inside. I feel around, shoving my arm half way into the bag before I feel the familiar thick fabric of a pair of jeans. Yes!

"If there's nothing in there I think Cody has a pair of pants you can borrow." Justin offers.

I nod again as I start to empty the bag, drawing out a few dark blue cotton shirts until finally reaching my jeans and yank them out.

I unfold them, holding them up as if to check the waist size. This might be stupid at this point but I can't just say fuck it and blow my cover just because I _think_ Cody knows I'm a soldier. I'm foolish but not _that_ foolish.

"Do you need any help?" Justin picks his head up with a smile.

I shake my head quickly, already brining my knees up as I struggle to slip the jeans beneath the blanket.

"Ha." Cody laughs. "He doesn't want you to touch him, Justin. He's afraid you're going to like it!"  
"Oh shut up, Cody!" Justin stomps his foot. "I mean it!"

Whatever. Let them argue. I'm out of here.

I ignore them, finally blocking them out as I yank my jeans up my legs, wiggling about until their past my ass and around my hips. Good enough. But I don't know if my shoulder will hold so I plant my other hand onto the ground and tuck my other arm against my body as I bring my knees up and around so I can roll sideways onto them and get up. Fuck I hope my legs are ready.

I come up, unsteady but I stand and force myself to take a step. It's a success. I don't fall. I take another one, and another one, still good. Now where's the fucking door.

I turn, finding the light streaming in through the cracks around the door and all but throw myself against it. I'm not angry anymore. I'm lost. Feeling desperate.

The door swings open, the sun light bursting over me like a warm, humid slap in the face. I start to sway and throw my arm up, shielding my eyes from the sun as a small hand suddenly wraps around my bicep. It stops me. _Justin_ keeps me from falling.

"Hey, take it easy." Justin says in a gentle voice. "You're going to make yourself fall."

"I'm fine." I tell him, yanking my arm away and stumble forward and almost trip as my feet get caught up in warm, soft sand.

Damnit. I need to slow down or I'm going to fall on my face. I wrap my arm around my stomach, prying an eye open and then another and find Justin standing directly in front of me, gazing, his brown pupils bright with in the light of the sun.

"I thought you said you guys had the same preferences!" I snap.

"We do! It's just," He pauses as he glances shamefully towards the hut and then back up at me as if he were just a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar and I'm the authority figure who's going to bust his ass.

"We get lonely out here, you know? We're out here like this for weeks at a time with no human contact but each other and as hard as we try not to let it the need for more can become _maddening_. So, sometimes we help each other and do what we can." His voice softens as his eyes return to the hut, staying there with that same sad, nervous expression drawing his face into a frown. "We didn't mean to offend you or make you feel uncomfortable. We thought you would sleep through it again."

"Then why did you _touch_ me?"

"I didn't. That was Cody. And it was an accident."

My eyes widen briefly. It was _Cody_? Shit no wonder he was so defensive. He must have thought I was repulsed by him when he touched me, like I rejected him instantly. Which I did!

"Really, it was an accident. Cody just got carried away and must have forgotten you were there."

Bullshit Cody forgot I was there. The way he touched me-no, the way he GRABBED me was no accident and a part of me thinks Cody _wanted_ me to wake up and catch them. He WANTED me to see them like that. But why he would want that I don't know. Perhaps it's just a sick desire to fuck with me, since he's obviously not my number one fan.

I shake my head. I let it go. I have to.

"Is there another hut-" I turn slowly and take my first look around and it answers my question because beautiful as it is, there's also a whole lot of _nothing_ here too.

The sand is soft, white, and painfully reflecting the sun into my eyes even through tight squinting. I keep going, scanning beyond the hut to the vast ocean. The water is much calmer than it has been, the waves crashing soft and slow and steady against the shore. And it matches the sky, so clear, so beautifully blue and pure. A bright contrast to the already vibrant greenery of the many palm trees and various purple, pink and yellow flowers lining the edges of a sharp tree-line that curves and dips with the shore. The scene is very calming.

But I'm not calm. I take a slow deep breath but it does nothing to relax me. But how can I relax when I see nothing but ocean and trees? And sand. Lots and LOTS of sand.

I shake my head. I'm so screwed. "Is there no other place for me to sleep?"  
"No. I'm sorry, there's isn't. This is all we have." Justin says softly. "Cody and I used to sleep on our own blankets but over time that became too painful lying on the ground and we couldn't take it anymore so we piled all of them together and that seems to work enough to get us through. And we didn't think about it until it was too late but we did have the thought to give you your own pile. We just _didn't_."

I nod silently as I bring my hand up, wrapping my fingers around my mouth and drag them down my rough skin that's more hair now than skin. I could use a shave. And a shower. _And a tall __**drink**__._

"We could try separating the blankets but I doubt any of us would be very comfortable sleeping on the ground. That is, more than we already are. I mean we don't have much but we might be able to manage." Justin's voice trails off in a shameful, almost embarrassed sigh. He looks away as he draws his bottom lip between his teeth.

Damnit. I can't do that. I couldn't in good conscience take from them what little they have. And I can't put them out any more than I have already. Cody will surely tell my sorry ass to split and I'm in no condition to fight him and after how I just acted I'm in no position to ask anything of him again either. _Good job, stupid._

Fuck I could really use a drink.

I turn, slowly, forcing a forgiving smile that somehow I just know Justin needs to see. Something about him tells me he needs the visual reassurance. "That's okay-"  
"No. We can fix it if we're making you uncomfortable."

I shake my head. They don't need to change anything, they've done that enough and if I push them anymore Cody's going to throw my ass out.

"No, look. **I'm sorry**. It's not that I have anything against what you two were doing but," I'm nervous and I find myself wanting to chuckle so I do as I slap a hand around the back of my neck. "You _surprised_ me. I wasn't expecting to wake up to-to…you know, _that_." I admit I've had better moments. And that's why I can't let Justin move the blankets. I can't stand to let him suffer just because I acted like a complete _jackass_.

"I understand. It was shocking." Justin says. "We can split the blankets-"  
"No, please. Don't do that. I don't want to impose any more than I have already. I can tune the two of you out now that I know to expect…_that_." I hesitate because it's awkward and a lie but for some reason I can't tell him any different. As freaked out as I still am I can feel my anger fading fast. Actually I'm starting to feel quite foolish.

No. I feel awful. I shouldn't have reacted how I did; like a scared, prude ignoramus who's never been around sex before. And damn could I be anymore ungrateful? I'm lucky just to be here, alive, and let's face it I would be dead if it wasn't for Cody and Justin. And this is how I repay them? Jesus it was just a fucking **blowjob**.

"...I'm not a bigot." I add. "And I'm sorry."

Justin's head jerk back and he looks up at me with shock widening his brown eyes. It passes in a flash and he smiles as his eyes go back to staring at the crashing waves. "…_Thank you_."

I nod again and feel myself start to relax. At least _one_ of them is easy to talk to and willing to accept my apology.

"Looks like you're feeling better." Justin says and I'm glad he's changing the subject. "How do your legs feel?"

"Good, good. Thank you. I think I'll be okay to walk now." I say.

Actually I feel a lot better today, even my shoulder and my ribcage. They still ache, slightly. But I can move my arm and take a breath without wanting to cringe because of the pain. I do so and make myself take a step, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips when I don't sway or stumble. Oh yes, this is definitely an improvement. Go me.

"Are you hungry, or-or thirsty?" Justin asks but his eyes are on the hut, his attention obviously focused elsewhere. Fine with me. I need to scope out the area anyway.

I shake my head. "Thank you but if you want to go back inside with Cody I can take a walk. You don't have to stay out here with me-"  
"It's **fine**." Cody suddenly emerges from the hut with a calmer tone and a blank expression as passes us without a single glance in our direction. "We're going to go catch breakfast anyway."

We're doing what? Catching breakfast? What now he's being nice to me again? I frown but Justin nods and smiles, taking a few seconds before stepping aside to follow Cody down the beach.

"You can tag along if you're up to it." Justin keeps smiling, looking back at me over his shoulder with a playful, troublesome gleam in his young brown eyes. "Come on, we'll give you the tour."

My mouth opens to object because the less I'm around Cody the better. But the words don't come out as Justin gives up and jogs ahead a few steps to catch up with Cody.

I guess we're going to go catch breakfast.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Note: Sorry that the updates take so long :/**

I'm stuffed. The trout from the river was huge and fat with meat and I'm glad I had to catch my own because in my rush to eat I picked mine down to the bone and didn't even think to share until it was too late. Thankfully I caught fmy own while Cody and Justin worked on cooking their catch over the fire, brought to us by sticks and stones Cody expertly rubbed together and ignited quite the spark. We used strong limbs as poles and a long, thick string for lines, and minoes from the stream for bait. I didn't think it was going to work because as far as I knew you need a _hook_ to land a fish, especially one worth eating. But as I sit here with my stomach full and content with a fresh, delicious meal I stand corrected. We caught our breakfast just fine without them. Well, Cody and Justin caught theirs easily but it took me a few tries to get the hang of it, and not to mention the embankment we're sitting up on is a bit steep and jagged with rocks but still soft and moist from the stream and recent rains.

We've made ourselves comfortable beside the fire, and I chose a seat away from them, across the flames with my back flat against the rocky embankment, stretching my long legs until my feet were touching the protective ring of rocks surrounding the old, overused fire-pit. I've been on my best behavior after this morning little _incident_, minding my please and thank you's but mostly staying quiet as Cody led us down the beach a ways and then up a narrow trail into the woods that took us directly to the top of the embankment. It was a quick trip. And easy too until we had to carefully step down the slope which was littered with rocks and slick mud. I slipped. Cody caught my ass by the back pockets of my jeans and pulled me back up. They laughed. I didn't.

I was so happy to see fresh water again I rushed down the last of the incline dropped to my knees and scooped so many handfuls into my mouth I lost count, my hand a complete blur as I drank my fill. It felt good, so much so that I took a few minutes to splash my face and neck, sparking the idea of bathing that I was quickly informed would happen later after the storm has passed. I don't know why or where and I didn't ask. I'll just take their word for it and if that fails then I'll just come back here and jump right on in. The water is perfect. It tastes great too.

It's actually quite a beautiful little fishing spot Cody has brought us too and I'd tell him that if I thought speaking to him was a good idea. But I don't. Sure we've made some small talk here and there and mostly that was Justin teaching me how to use their fishing poles made up of thick branches and long strings. He was very helpful. Cody was not.

We're all quiet again now. Me more so than Cody and Justin who converse softly as they slowly devour their fish fresh from the fire and I'm amazed at how much they eat. Both of them are on their second helping while I'm stuffed and ready to head back to the hut to lie down because I think I've overdone it coming out all the way to the stream like this. Don't get me wrong though because the meal was worth it. I hadn't realized just how hungry I was until I took that first bite and then I woofed that sucker down like there was no tomorrow. And I don't even like fish. In fact I hated it before today but what could I do? Turn it down? Ask for meat and potatoes?

I got my fill and I'm grateful for it.

I can see the ocean from where we are, its vast endless horizon taunting me as I fight to keep a hold on myself and my emotions around the islanders who I know are constantly watching my every move. I seem calm on the outside and even in my head but in my deepest inner being I am at a complete loss and utterly _panicked_. Even as I sit here with a full stomach and in what I hope is safe company I'm fighting the growing ball of despair building in my gut, smothering my relieved stomach in something awful and almost erasing the good my meal has done.

I guess it didn't really hit me until now but I could be stuck here forever. Not like forever as in I'm impatient and a few days is too long but the real deal as in I am to grow old and _die_ on this god forsaken fuck hole, if not die young because I was caught by some Chief who will kill me on the spot just for being here. It's daunting. My nerves are so unsteady, so jumbled and sore with anxiety and agony and _uncertainty._ Will I make it out in time to catch the ships passing by? Probably not. Will I build something strong enough to get my ass out there to those ships? Not likely. Will I stop being so negative about all of this and try to look at the bright side of things for a change?...Yeah. Most definitely not. It's just the way I'm wired. I see nothing but the bad and the worse so that when the good and the better comes along I can be pleasantly surprised instead of surprised and devastated. Call it self-preservation, or whatever the fuck you want. But it keeps me safe, my heart especially. And my sanity because it's been a long, hard road for me in this life so far and as you can see I'm **not** the luckiest man in the world. I always end up in the middle of a complete and utter disaster and I never know how I got there. But this is different though, I know. I signed up for the army at the request of my father because HE served the army and wished to see his oldest son do so to carry on the honor of the family name…Or some bullshit like that. And I did it because that's what men like myself do. We tend to the land and our farms and ranches where we marry and start our family only to desert them once where old enough for the army to take us. Some of us come back, and some of us _don't_.

I never imagined that I would be one of the ones that _didn't_. Especially since I fucking LEFT and was on my way home when the fucking ship sank. Damn my luck. Damn my choices and my father for forcing me to make them. And damn this life of mine that seems to be filled with nothing but peril and despair. I just want to live in peace and be a good man, is that really too much to ask for? I mean why has too much been put on my shoulders with everyone's expectations so high I could never reach them? It's not fair. _Life_ isn't fair. And here I am. Stuck on this fucking island in a whole new world filled with danger and so much uncertainty I can't even stand it all because life just isn't fucking FAIR.

I'll never seen my family again. My beautiful Samantha will move on and marry another, forgetting all about my sorry ass that probably isn't good enough for her anyway. _I never was_. And my family, they're lost to me too. They will be saddened by my absence, or at least my mother will. My father on the other hand was definitely going to disown me for disgracing our family with my dishonorable discharge following my desertion. And my brother is his shadow so that eliminates the two of them right off the bat. To them it will probably be a relief that I'm dead because now I can't bring any more shame on the family. Everyone will feel sorry for them for my passing, instead of shunning them for my return. At least _they_ will be saved from the mess I've made. And that goes for Samantha too. I don't want to shame her because she'll forgive me and take me as the deviant I am.

One thing she will not do though, is wait. A young beautiful woman like her has plenty of other suitors to choose from and although my Samantha is a lady and will grieve my loss for the appropriate time she will still fulfill her duties and become a caring wife and mother. And if I don't get back to her soon there will be nothing I can do to stop her from forgetting about me. I'll lose the _only_ person who's ever cared about me.

So I don't have months and season changes to wait for the ships to pass by. I need to get home NOW.

I rub my forhead as I close my eyes and sigh. I'm trying to be hopeful, I am. But I'm probably already dead to everyone aren't I?

It's been nine days since the ship went down. Not two or three but fucking _nine_ whole days. That's more than a week that I've been missing and if I remember correctly that's long enough to call off the search party AND to send someone to my home to inform my fiancé and family that I have been declared dead by the army. Hell the army only needed three days to do that but given the circumstances perhaps maybe the extended it for a day or two if they found other survivors. But even then my time has run out. They could have pushed the search and rescue party for four or five days perhaps, but not nine.

I close my eyes as my head starts to grow light despite my hand that tries to rub away the tension. Fuck. Everyone I know and love thinks I'm dead. I, Randal Keith Orton, soldier, son, fiancé, am fucking _dead_. I'm-I'm too late…

"Hey, everything okay over there?" Cody is suddenly nudging my foot with his long toes, frowning at me slightly. "You look a bit pale. Are you going to pass out?"

"No." I open my eyes and glance up at Cody not to be rude. "I'm not going to pass out." I might throw up though. The sick, sinking feeling in my stomach is so heavy, so thick and growing as I memorize every inch of the horizon and the violent waves of the barrier taunting me in the distance. Suddenly my fish isn't sitting very well.

I could never build anything sturdy enough to make it through the barrier and even if I could I'd need a lot longer than a couple of months. That is if I can FIND or MAKE what I need to even build the damn boat in the first place. And yes it would _have_ to be a boat. Not just a bundle of thick sticks tied together but an actual fucking vessel that I could steer and navigate around the rocks, hopefully escape the current, and go head on into some of the biggest waves I've ever seen. And really what am I going home to in a couple of months? A family that disowns me and a fiance who's forgotten me?

"What wrong? Is your shoulder bothering you?" Justin's small hand suddenly touches my arm and stays there, his soft thumb gently stroking over my skin. "You don't look well."

"I'm fine." I say but even I can hear the hint of discomfort and sorrow in my voice. "My shoulder is okay." My body _does_ hurt and the pain is there but somehow it doesn't register as a concern right now. Or seem important.

"Are we making you uncomfortable?" Justin's hand falls away. "Randy?"

"No—No that's not it." I shake my head and it takes everything in me to tear my eyes from the dangerous waves crashing mercilessly against the most-jagged of the rocks that outline the barrier and the menacing clouds quickly building in the distance. Another storm. Wonderful.

"I don't think I'm going to make it out of here in time to meet the ships as they pass…If I can even make it _that_ far."

"Sure you will." Justin says with a nod, his tone hopeful and annoyingly upbeat. He smiles. "We'll help you."

I shake my head. "How are you going to help me? I'm not even allowed in the village. And there's no way you could sneak supplies to me out here, not without being caught-"

"We won't be caught." Justin argues and Cody nods. "The village doesn't have much to offer for the supplies so we won't risk it but a few times and Cody and I know this side of the island like the back of our hands. We'll get what we need. No problem."

"Yes. It's not hopeless." Cody adds and nudges my foot again with a small smile. "We can build something-"

"Whatever." I stop him in a firm tone. I don't care. I'm not playing this hot/cold game with him. Either he likes me or he doesn't and he's not going to dangle the offer of help in front of me only to take it back later. He can help me build something or not.

Justin shakes his head. "No really, Randy. We could help you gather-"

"Gather _what_ exactly_?_ Lumber from trees that I can't cut or saw or nail together? Do you even have tools out here?"

Justin drops his gaze. Shit. Of course they don't have any _tools_. They have NOTHING. And I'm being a complete asshole about it.

I go back to looking at the ocean, clenching my jaw tight. I need to just be quiet. None of this is Cody or Justin's fault and I need to stop treating them like it.

"Look," Justin says firmly but only to get my attention. "We don't have what it would normally take to build a boat but we've can improvise. I've seen it be done before."

My head jerks towards the islander. Justin has seen this before? Like it's actually happened and it was a success?-! "You have?" I lean forward with a serious frown of interest. "You've seen someone build a boat and actually make it out of here?"

Justin looks to Cody for a moment, their eyes meeting long enough to exchange something I know nothing about. Something that makes Cody frown and after a few moments look away as that mysterious sadness within Cody's eyes rises above all else and shines through.

"Uh. Yeah." Justin looks to me again and nods. "Actually it-it was Cody's brother Dustin. He built a boat and took off about four years ago…Left Cody behind."

I'm already looking at Cody, watching his inner turmoil play out in the depths of his eyes. And now I see. It all makes perfect sense. Cody's sense of loss and that under lying devastation in his soul, fuck no wonder he's so damn hostile. He's angry with his brother. And who could blame him. I mean Jesus how could his brother just leave him here like that? And where did he go that he wouldn't take his younger brother with him? I just don't understand. There has to be more to that story…

"Why didn't you go with him?" I know Cody will hate me that much more for even daring to ask him that but seeing as how I'm STUCK here with him I should get to know his grumpy, temperamental ass. And since he's done very little to make this easy on me I'm going to return the favor. And I admit that I'm also intrigued.

"Because he didn't ask me to go with him," Cody says and surprises me with a casual shrug. "He just took off one morning and never came back."

I shake my head. "He left without saying goodbye?"

"He **left**." Cody's expression hardens and if he was relaxed before he isn't now because his fists ball up tight against his thighs. "He took the boat we built and went on his way with it. I don't know why. He just did. And I don't know if he even made it."

I back off with a nod and sit back as Cody's eyes narrow towards me, great. He's back to hating me again. I can see such resentment on his face and before I was sure it wasn't for me but I guess it is. Cody hates my being here because his brother took off on him four years ago. I—I think. I guess I remind him of that a bit too much. But fuck man what can _I_ do about that? I'm not his brother. And if Cody helps me build a boat then he's more than welcome to accompany me on the daunting journey of getting the fuck off this god forsaken island. I'd never turn him away or leave him here. How could anyone?

Cody's gaze intensifies, his blue pupils burning with hate as they bore into mine and tell me just how much he loathes my very being. I shake my head at him, our eyes never parting. I just don't understand. I don't want him to look at me like that. I hate it.

I look away and give him the satisfaction of making me uncomfortable with his glare.

But I'm not finished yet. "What about your parents?" I'm not done with him yet and even if he's pissed Cody is going to answer my questions because he sure as hell makes me answer _his_.

Cody scoffs, "Why do you want to know?"

"Why not? Is there a reason I can't?"

"…No. I just don't see why it's any of your business."

"It's not." I press him further and this almost feels like a game now. "But it's a legitimate question. Just answer it."

Cody frowns and opens his mouth to say something then stops and rolls his eyes. "I haven't seen them since I was six after they ditched my brother and I with Zak's mother and father. I barely remember them. There. You happy now?"

"No. So you weren't born here?"

"No." Cody huffs.

"So where are you from?"

He shrugs. "Don't know."

Damn. I shake my head. "I'm sorry to hear that…But I guess that's how you became Zaks chosen lover? You grew up with him?"

"Yes." He sits back and seems to relax a little as he props his foot up on a rock and crosses his arms over his chest. "What about you? I'm sure you've got a _little lady_ waiting for you back home?"

Wow. His mood changes so fast I'm having trouble keeping up. And damnit he changed to subject to me again. Probably just to irritate me.

"I do." I nod. "My fiancé, her name's Samantha." I don't like the term _little lady_. To me that sounds like I _own_ her and believe me that is NOT the case. In fact it's more like SHE owns ME with all of her rules and restrictions.

"I bet she misses you… " Cody's brow rises slightly. "She must be so torn apart without her big handsome _merchant_."

"That's right." My eyes narrow and I can't stop them. "But since you don't believe that let's just stick with the rest. She misses me." I don't want to be rude but Cody is really starting to piss me off. If he doesn't let that shit go and leave me alone about it I'm going to snap on him and tell his pretty boy ass to shut the fuck up, even if I know that he is playing a game with me. I'm trying to keep myself in line but damnit I'm losing my patience.

"You don't look like a merchant." Cody comments in a mischievous tone, his eyes softening as he looks me over, scanning every curve, dip and mound he can see until he reaches my thighs and comes back up with a smirk. "Not even _close_."

"Then tell me, what do I look like?" I humor him with a cold stare.

"…Something else." He shrugs. "Nothing that's as simple as a _merchant_."

"And what if I'm not a merchant? What then? What if I'm jobless and just hitched a ride back home because my job failed me?"

"That would be believable." Cody says and seems to think about it for a moment then shakes his head. "Too bad it's not true."

Damnit. How does he fucking _know_ that? I resist the urge to shake my head as I lean towards him again, returning the sly smirk he's giving me with one of my own. "Says who, you? Tell me, oh great psychic, what am I? Since you can determine what I'm not you _must _be able to determine what I _am_?"

I watch him carefully as Cody mimics me and comes forward, the fire the only thing dividing our flaring eyes and egos as we stare each other down. Cody's such a trip; his mood, his attitude, his back and forth on whether or not he should treat me like a piece of garbage or an actual human being. He's interesting to say the least. If I wasn't afraid of him kicking me out on my ass I might not have noticed or cared if he likes me but I do care. I want him to like me.

That's stupid. But it's distracting. And that's what I need right now.

"Why is what I think so important to you?" Cody asks after checking me over like before only this time his eyes linger over my arms, trailing over me as if trying to memorize every inch of my skin.

"Because every chance you get you bring that up." I point out. "So why don't you just cut the shit and tell me what you _think_ I am-"

"Maybe you should just tell us the truth-!" Cody scowls.

"You're one to talk! You acted like you were an ignorant savage and then had the audacity to be offended when I assumed you were. You set me up!"

"What is he talking about?" Justin frowns at me and then at Cody. "What did you do!"

"He acted like he didn't know what a fucking _doctor_ does-"

"Cody!" Justin scolds and gives his friend's thigh a chastising slap. "What on earth has gotten into you? You know what a doctor does-"

"I was just _fucking_ with him." Cody stops Justin with a defensive roll of his eyes. "I mean he asked about a doctor as if we were keeping him away from one. Like he was curious as to why, if we had one, why we hadn't taken him. I thought he was stupid and I told him the worst of what he was already thinking and he bought it. It was just a joke-"

"A joke?" I can't believe this. Cody is such an _asshole_. "It was a legitimate question-"

Cody laughs. "What is that like your word of the day? You and everything you do is just so fucking _legitimate_! Give me a break,_ merchant._ You're just as big a liar as I am-"

"Enough!" Justin stops us with a loud, frustrated shout and a sharp chop of his hand through the air towards Cody. "Cody please just let that go already because you're getting on my nerves. What difference does it make what he really does for a living? He's _here_ so he's not doing SHIT now. He's one of us now. So lay off already!"

I sit back and get up, brushing my legs off carefully as I step my way back up the embankment. I appreciate Justin standing up for me just now but at the same time I don't want to stick around and listen to it either. I just don't have it in me. Not when I'm trying desperately to avoid the horrible truth that I'm fucking STUCK out here and that I'm probably going to die because of it. I just don't have the patience.

I stumble and wobbled up the embankment to the top, my arm tucked safely against my stomach as I tread heavily towards the path leading back to the hut. What the fuck does it matter if I'm a merchant or a soldier or a dirt farmer or whatever the fuck else I could be that Randy is dead anyway. And besides that I'm **here**. So I'm none of those things. I'm just **fucked**.

"Randy, wait." Cody calls and I'm surprised. I would have thought Justin would have been following me.

I don't stop. I can find my way back to the hut _without_ that bitch's help.

"I'm going to go lie down." I tell him over my shoulder. "Can it wait?"

"Zak's coming! Get down!" Cody warns sharply and I hear him pick up the pace, his feet thudding against the soft ground as he rushes towards me too quickly for me to stop.

We crash into the ground, disappearing into the bushes that swallow us up whole, scratching and tearing at my skin in a quick rush of sharp pain. We land hard, Cody on top, my shoulder throbbing, a pained snarl exploding from deep within my chest. Cody's hand covers my mouth.

I scowl, my eyes wide and burning with outrage as his hand tightens around my face and lips to keep me from screaming. I can't help it. It—it's my shoulder! Oh god it hurts so bad! God damn it what the fuck is he thinking!

I snarl hard against Cody's hand, pushing my face into his palm as I thrust upwards against him. Goddamnit why is he still on top of me!

"Shh!" Cody whispers, his eyes wide, darting back and forth between mine as if trying to tell me something over my pained cries. "Randy, _please_, be quiet! It's **Zak!**"

Shit.

I clench my jaw, stifling the pain in my shoulder, my scowl softening into a confused frown as I follow the desperation quickly building in Cody's face. He looks up, peeking carefully through the bushes towards the beach. He stops and comes back down, our eyes meeting.

"Look, stay _here_." He says and looks down at his hand over my mouth, frowns, and then quickly removes it. "I'll be back for you as soon as I can. Just lay low for a while, alright? If you look straight ahead through the bushes you can see the hut from here so keep that in mind because it works both ways. **Don't** let him see you."

I nod, staring wide eyed and completely mesmerized. I swallow hard, my pulse thumping hard in my throat. Cody just saved my life again? He did. But he HATES me…? I-… I—I think he's looking at my lips. I—I don't know. _I'm looking at his_. I blink. I'm so confused. Just a minute ago he was shooting daggers at me and now he's saved me again, and with such passion! Like he cares or actually wants me to be here. But then why is he such an asshole to me? I don't understand! Is this another setup? Is he just fucking with me again?-!

"If it starts to get late you might have to stay out here for the night." He says but our eyes are flicking back and forth between each other and our lips, both of us relaxing against each other more and more as the seconds tick by. He's so warm, so solid and yet silky soft. His blue eyes soften as he looks down at the touching skin of ours chests and then back up at me. "…Go back down the slope to the fire and stay with it as long as you can. You can take shelter in the cave beyond the rocks on the other side of the stream. You'll be safe there for the night and during the storm."

I nod again but I'm more concerned with my hand. It suddenly wants to touch him. I want to feel the warm, soft skin of his back against my palm so badly it aches. It twitches and I fight to keep it down. Shit. What the?

_Stop it, Randy. Stop it right now._

"Be careful…" He starts to rise, moving back slowly and allowing me to sit up as he goes. I follow him as far as I can and stop as Cody springs onto his feet, starring up at him with wide eyes I have no control over. Cody's treating me so kindly I don't know what to think. Or say. I can only nod. And I do.

Cody disappears into the bushes around us, glancing over his should towards me one more time before the last of him slips through the thick shrubbery. He's gone.

I turn onto my side, peeking through the bushes but don't see the hut and keep going until I find myself on my stomach. There. I can see it now. Still no Cody but there's someone else. A man, he's tall and strong and thick with muscles, his black hair short and spiked with something that keeps it jutting into the air even against the increasing wind as he stands there, arms crossed, a dark frown upon his face. I can't see him. Just his form.

That's it? _That's_ Zak? Shit. He _is_ pretty big and he looks like a mean mother fucker too. Totally unreasonable and boorish, and ruthless. Cody was wise to keep me from him. That bastard would have killed me the moment he laid eyes on my sorry ass. I just _know_ it.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Cody greets Zak with a long hug, his arms wrapped around his neck, his face pressed to Zaks shoulder as Justin stands by and seems to wait his turn. The only one who looks pleased is Zak. Both Cody and Justin don't have an ounce of light in their eyes, not anymore. Zak seems to have sucked that right out of them the moment his sorry ass arrived.

I know that because I can see it for myself since I didn't stay put like Cody wanted. I didn't want to, and if need be I can find my way back to the fire and safety just as Cody said I could. And I know that he'll be outraged that I didn't listen but damnit I couldn't just hang out back there until someone came to get me. Not when it would mean missing out on a good chance to size up Zak so I can have at least _somewhat_ of an idea of what I might be in for if I ever have to meet that bastard face to face. Cody wouldn't understand that and I don't have to ask him to be certain. And anyway it doesn't matter now because I've already moved and am laying on the ground face down, still as can be, and safely hidden within the bushes. I'm far but not too far. Close, but not _too_ close. The perfect distance so I won't be caught. I'll waste no time here. I know better than that.

I lift my head a little higher and focus, watching close as Cody strokes his hand down Zak's back.

Zak isn't what I thought he would be. I mean he's tall and big and looks like a tough son of a bitch but, not in the way I imagined he was. I was picturing some horrible, _giant_ savage. Not this average, normal looking man who's fully dressed in black pants and seemingly well-trimmed with a smooth face and shaven, chiseled chin and black hair sticking straight up in the wind.

He's ugly if you ask me. And my first question is: why does _he_ get to wear clothes while Cody and Justin have been reduced to practically nothing? Zak's dressed in black from head to toe, his massive arms protruding from a sleeveless shirt, and _boots_. How does that son of a bitch have fucking _boots_ and Cody and Justin have **nothing**? My brow raises in thought.

This is strange. Just what exactly is going on here? Are they being _punished_? The hut, the lack of proper bedding and clothing, the solitude? It's not right and I don't like it one bit. Something's up and the first chance I get I'm confronting Justin or Cody and they're going to start telling me the truth about the fucking island because if I'm going to be stuck here for the next several weeks then I need to know exactly what's going on. No more fucking surprises. PLEASE.

I inch closer in the dirt, daring to lift my head high enough to get a clear view of the islanders and their chief standing outside the hut. I can almost hear them. But I can read lips well enough to make sense of the conversation.

"It's so good to see you, Zak." Justin says as he gives up on waiting and hugs Zak's backside as Cody occupies the front. "We thought you weren't coming for another week."

"Yes, I came early." Zak looks back over his shoulder for a moment and Justin backs away with a smile.

"Yes and we're so glad. Did you bring us any supplies?"

"Actually, I've only come to take you back to the village for a few days, Justin."

"What?" Cody's head jerks up as his arms fall and he steps back with a frown. "What about _me_? Why can't I go back?"

"You're staying here." Zak uses his finger to point to the ground they're standing on as if that would solidify his request. "I think the alone time will be good for you."

Cody scowls again. "What?" He shakes his head. "But I want to go **home**-"

"Yeah well that's just too bad, Cody." Zak stops him in a firm tone that makes even me tense and want to recoil. But I don't. Cody doesn't either.

"Maybe you'll learn some fucking self-discipline and stop fucking everyone. I'd let you come home if I knew I could trust you but I know that the second my back is turned you'll be back to sucking cock and fucking my servants. I'm no fool."

Woah…

"Oh come off it I never fucked any of your servants!" Cody exclaims with outrage burning in his cheeks and heightening his voice. "Those limp dick fucks wouldn't know what to do with me, you idiot." He shakes his head and crosses his arms. "Once again you just don't fucking _listen_, Zak. You keep telling me that I'm some fucking tramp that goes around screwing everyone who's willing and **I** keep telling YOU that you're wrong. But once you get an idea in that fucked up head of yours it's impossible to get you to think otherwise. And in this case you _should_. Because I didn't fuck any of your servants, I fucked your best friend ONE time. And I'm sick of paying for it when that was four fucking years ago!"

"Enough." Zak growls, his entire body tensing as he glowers at Cody. "You're staying here and that's final. Do NOT argue with me."

"Don't argue with you? Fuck you, Zak. I am not a fucking child! I'm a man and you CAN'T keep doing this- to me-"

"You're a fucking **deviant**!" Zak stops Cody with an angry, shameful shaking of his head. "I put you out here so you can redeem yourself in my eyes after having bedded with my friend and embarrassing me in front of the entire village. And what do you do? You fuck Justin. You've been fucking _Justin_-"

"And? What about that? I do what I need to do out here so don't you dare come down on me for that shit when you NEVER show up to take care of me. I'm not a fucking pet, Zak. I'm a MAN. I have a dick too, one that can't stand to go _months_ at a time without some goddamn attention. And maybe YOU can bare that horrible feeling but I sure as hell can't. I'm sick of it. My whole fucking _body_ is sick of it."

"Yeah?" Zak growls. "You want some fucking attention?" Zak comes towards him and Cody doesn't even flinch as Zak takes him by the elbow, "Come here." He drags Cody away and around to the side of the hut where Justin can't see. But I can.

I can see and I admit that I wish I could run down there and knock Zaks teeth down his throat. Zak had better not hurt Cody or so help me God we're all fucked because I'm going to come bursting out of this bush and take his sorry ass out _myself_. I'll fuck that mother-fucker up if no one else will, or can_. I swear to God I will._

Zak pushes Cody against the hut and quickly closes the distance between them with a kiss, plunging his tongue into Cody's mouth. Cody looks angry but seems to accept Zaks kiss and after a moment his eyes close and his arms wrap around Zak's broad shoulders and neck. I feel myself shaking my head.

I hate this. I have issues with people being forced to do things. And that's what I see, Cody being _forced_.

He seems to like it though…I think. Cody's so confusing. But at least it gives me something to ponder as I keep my eyes fixed on the tall chief with his hands all over Cody's backside as Cody kisses Zak with such passion, his arms wrapped around him tight, undulating against him in a silent plea for something more. And yet his face is completely dark.

They kiss harder as Cody's brow plunges with bitter acceptance, his eyes closing with such repulsion. He plunges his tongue into Zaks mouth with vigor, pressing against him fully and dares to lift and curl his leg around Zak's thigh and hip. Zak welcomes the contact, grabbing hold of Cody's calf to keep him there.

I look away. Suddenly I can't swallow. I try again and find my throat is tight, dry. And now that I take a moment I can feel my pulse there too.

What the hell? I force my mouth shut tight, swallowing hard. Better.

I look up just as Zak plants his hands on Cody's waist and abruptly pushes him away.

Cody isn't pleased but before he can even ask Zak smirks anyway and gives Cody's face a few, degrading slaps against his cheek. "Don't frown so much. You're really ugly when you're angry."

Cody slaps Zaks hand down but Zak just lets out another laugh and shakes his head. "See? Look how ugly you are when you're mad."

Motherf- I don't know how much more of this I can watch. I drop my head again, taking a few deep breaths. It would be stupid of me to do anything right now, I know. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to.

I _want_ to run down there and tear Zaks fucking arm off and shove it down his throat. It's foolish and I know I need to stay put but I _want_ to help Cody. I owe him that.

I owe him my _life_.

I take another deep breath and look up. The scene hasn't changed. Cody's livid as he glares at his lover, swiping at his mouth as if to remove his taste from his lips. I don't know how he can stand to be treated this way.

This just can't be the way it is here. Cody isn't some obedient toy or pet for fucks sake. He's a fully grown, strong, handsome man who could kick Zaks ass in a heartbeat and Zak would be wise to remember that. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Zak _does_ know that and he just doesn't care because for some unknown reason to me he's allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants to Cody. Including treat him like a bad dog who's done a bad thing in the house and Zaks rubbing Cody's nose in it. Maybe that just the way it is here…Whether I want to believe it or not. Simply because I just _don't _understand.

"Calm down, Cody." Zak slaps his face again and this time Cody knocks his hand away and slaps him back, knocking Zaks head to the side the force of his spread hand.

"Fuck you!" Cody snaps. He abruptly shoves himself away from the hut, advancing on his lover fearlessly. "Get the fuck out of here. You're only here for Justin then fucking GO, Zak. GO." He bravely pushes his leader in the chest, his face twisted with anger, bitterness. "I said get the fuck out of here!"

Zak lets Cody push him and steps back but he doesn't wait long before he grabs Cody by the elbows and hauls him in for another kiss. Cody fights him, hitting Zak's arms and shoulders until eventually landing on his face again until Zak abruptly shoves him away, letting out a sadistic yet prideful chuckle as Cody swipes at his mouth once again to rid himself of the taste of his bastard chief who is unaffected by Cody's scathing glare.

"Justin!" Zak beckons, still chuckling as he turns and heads around the corner of the hut and leaves a fuming Cody behind without so much as another glance. Zak just simply walks away.

What a bastard. Is he _that_ drunk on power that he's above all of this? Is that what this shit is really all about?

Zak's taking everyone for a ride on his power trip that's grown completely out of control, that's what I think.

"Did you bring supplies for Cody?" Justin says.

I snap my head towards Justin and Zak, supplies? Fuck what _kind_ of supplies? I lean in closer to hear better, watching Justin now instead of Cody although believe me I have not forgotten him nor will I.

"Yes. I brought a couple of blankets and a few other things." Zak reaches out and pulls Justin close to his chest, smiling as he guides Justin's head to rest against him as he strokes his hand through his short, messy brown hair in such a comforting way that it could only be meant to enrage Cody who rejoins them just in time. Cody scowls the ugliest scowl I've ever seen at his chief, and Justin.

Zak ignores him. He looks down at Justin with his smile as he drags his fingers in Justin's hair all the way down to his neck, his longer fingers messaging and caressing his flesh as Justin stares up at him, wide-eyed and expectant.

"You can unload the bags from my horse and we'll head back to the village." Zak tells him and Justin quickly nods. "I want to get there before the storm does so be quick. No stalling, Justin."

Justin nods again and as Zak lets him go he steps away and quickly turns to do as he was told, jogging towards a tall dark brown horse that's back is overloaded with what looks like a massive roll of blankets and a small ratty brown sack filled with something I can't see.

I look to Cody standing aside with daggers in his eyes for his chief and shake my head. Why is Cody letting this happen? How can he just stand there and let Zak take his only companion away from him when he's already so fucking _bitter_ over losing so much? I just don't understand because if **I** were Cody I would have killed Zak's sorry ass when he first sent me to live on this empty, desolate beach with nothing to do but sit and stew. So why didn't Cody? The bastard deserves it doesn't he? So why is Cody putting up with this bullshit? I must be missing some vital information, some piece of the past that made everything the way it is today that I don't know about because Cody nor Justin felt it necessary to tell me. Which is strange in its self because, why wouldn't they tell me? I'm going to be here long enough to find out aren't I? Or do they really think I'm going to die before I figure everything out?

I shake my head, leaning back a second to think. That's it. I may have to wait a while but Cody's going to tell me what's really going on around this fuck-hole or I'm going to go find out for myself. They leave me no other choice…

Zak follows Justin to the over-loaded horse, sauntering over to the smaller man as Justin finishes untying the stack of blankets secured to the saddle. Justin catches the bundle as it falls, turning to set it on the ground but stops when Zak holds out his hands to take them. Justin smiles up at his chief and hands it over. "Thank you."

Zak dumps the pile to the ground. "You're welcome. I hope you're ready to go. Did you need to grab anything from the hut before we leave?"

Justin shakes his head as he finds the strap to the sack tied to the saddle and struggles with the knot. "No. I don't need anything. I'm ready." He glances back over his shoulder at Cody and then at Zak. "Are you really going to leave things this way though? You sure you don't want to say goodbye to Cody before we go?"

"You just mind your own, Justin." Zak warns in a low tone that makes Justin quicken his fingers as they fumble with the knot.

"Cody will be _fine_. Just pay attention to what you're doing so we can get out of here."

"I'm trying it's just-_stuck_. Damn why did you have to tie this thing so tight? I can't get any slack to loosen the knot…"

"Here," Zak reaches for the blade on his hip, pulling it from its sheath as he pressed himself to Justin's back. Justin freezes as Zak brings the knife close to his face, slowly tilting the sharp edges into the light to accentuate its sharpness. "Use _this_."

Justin shakes his head and recoils from the blade. Zak laughs.

"Don't be such a pussy." He reaches out, Justin jumps. Zak's arm stretches further, his other hand coming around Justin and grabbing the sack, pulling into the air as far as the strap will allow with Justin between his elbows.

He tucks the knife beneath the strap and with one pull slices the bag from the saddle and lets it fall to the ground.

"There." Zak tucks his head against Justin's, pressing his lips to his ear. Justin closes his eyes, turning his head but can't escape the bastard behind him.

Zak returns the knife to his hip with his mouth still pressed to Justin's ear, his lips trailing over him in an intimate caress. "Did you miss me, Justin? I can't wait to get you home-"

"What about Cody? Aren't you going to-"

"Shhh. Don't concern yourself with him right now. Cody will be fine by himself and I'm sure you could use a break from being out here, hm? Besides, don't you want to spend some time with me?"

"Ye-Yes." Justin's eyes reopen. "I-I do. That would be great." It's like he's on auto-pilot, his face is utterly blank, his tone empty and void of any emotion.

"Let's go." Zak guides Justin towards the horse, kissing his ear over and over until Justin moves out of reach and hoists himself onto the back of the strong stallion awaiting them. Zak smiles up at the smaller man, his hand coming to rest on Justin's thigh and slowly moving upwards towards his hip. "Thank you, Justin. You're always so kind to me. Just wait here and I will say my goodbye to Cody and we'll be on our way."

Justin nods, breaking a smile although I don't know what the hell for.

Zak returns to Cody who's eyes could not hold anymore hate for him even if he tried. Cody despises Zak. He loathes that bastard with every inch of his being. I can actually sense it from here.

"Have you seen any soldiers?" Zak asks.

My head snaps back at Zaks question. I dart forward, pressing further into the bushes. Did I just hear him right? He's asking about _soldiers_? **Why?**

"No." Cody shakes his head before I can question this any further. "Just like the last time you asked. The soldiers don't wash up here because they can't make it through the barrier. You know that."

"Good. Those retched fucks had better stay away if they know what's good for them. You keep your eyes peeled and your ears open, alright? And come tell me if you see the ships pass by sooner than they're supposed to, got that?"

Cody only nods, his eyes darkening. "Yes. _I know_. You've said that every time you leave for the past four years-"

Zak suddenly pulls Cody into a hug, visibly squeezing him tight as Cody rejects the embrace with a furious scowl, his arms hanging limp at his sides.

"Let go of me."

"Play _nice_." Zak warns. "Say goodbye to me properly or I'll take Justin and never bring him back. You can stay out here by yourself if that's how you wish to act."

Cody cringes and I think we're both glad Zak doesn't see it. "You're such a bastard, Zak." Cody closes his eyes and just like Justin when Cody reopens them his face is blank, his body slumping in defeat.

"Goodbye, Zak." Cody's says with a pause as his arms come up and close Zak into a weak embrace. "I love you."

I jerk back like something slapped me in the face, my eyes stinging, chest tightening.

_Love?_

I shake my head to clear the confusion but it doesn't help. I still don't understand. I've never heard a man say such a thing to another man. And I admit I didn't think it was possible for two men to fall in love. Sure they can share a bed and fuck but, _love_? I had no idea. I—I never even _thought_ something like this was possible I—I…

I feel like a fool. Of course two men can love each other. _Of course they can_.

I clear my head again and creep back into my spot, eyes wide. I have to force myself to see this through. I _need_ to know what's happening, even if I don't understand it or know it.

My heart's racing. God damnit there's just so much going on here, none of which I understand. But that? Love? There's no fucking _love_ here. Only hate. And a fucked up sense of entitlement, and **possession**.

Zak lets Cody go with a brief kiss on his cheek that Cody turns away from. Cody walks away, waving him off over his shoulder as he stomps through the sand to the hut and throws the door open, darts inside, and lets it slam shut behind him.

Zak doesn't look back. He joins Justin on the back of his horse, mounting the tall stallion with ease. "Hold on tight," He says over his shoulder and Justin quickly wraps his arms around Zak's waist and presses his face to his back, securing himself for the ride.

Shit.

With Justin leaving that means it's going to be just me and-and _Cody_. Just-just us.

…_Fuck_.

We're probably going to kill each other by the time Justin's brought back. Hell it will probably be before then at the rate things were going between us earlier by the fire. But then again there was that weird moment when he saved my life again too, and he looked at me like he cared, I think.

He doesn't though. Because if he had he wouldn't have kept so much about this island from me and cut me some fucking slack. Which damnit that has to stop. Cody can't keep me at bay anymore and that's final. I can and will no longer be afraid of him kicking me out because if I _want_ to I can just go to the village myself. I _could_ find my own way there and expose him to his chief, if I were so cruel. And I might be. Cody may leave me no other choice if we can't find a way to get along.

I sit back and make myself as comfortable as I can. I'll wait. Zak could have a change of heart and come back or perhaps forgotten something? I don't know. I won't risk it.

I wait…

The storm clouds roll in, thunder rumbling softly in the skies as the rain threatens to fall at any moment. The wind blows the sand in my face, the bushes pushing and clawing at my skin. Zak doesn't come back. And Cody doesn't emerge from the hut. I shake my head after quite some time because that doesn't surprise me. I was half expecting Cody to leave me out here if something like this happened and after about an hour after Zak left with Justin it's safe to say Cody isn't too concerned about coming to get me. He wouldn't even have time to reach me before the storm hit…

I was right. He doesn't care. Cody is glad to be rid of me and without Justin here to be his conscious Cody is going to walk all over me if I let him.

Fuck that. I'm sleeping in the hut tonight and not in the god damn rain.

I fight the oncoming storm as I break out of the shrubbery and into the open, shielding my eyes with my arm from the sand kicking up into the gusts of wind blowing in off the water, and still no sign of Cody. He's just _not_ coming. He did come out briefly after Zak left to collect the sack of supplies and mound of blankets from the sand and I _thought_ he would be on his way shortly after that. I was wrong.

I can't help but scowl as I near the hut. Maybe Cody needed some time after his visit from Zak but it's about to fucking rain for fucks sake and I'm in no condition to stay in a cave. I need to lie down some place warm and safe and damnit Cody is going to let me into the fucking hut whether he likes it or not.

I reach the hut just as the rain begins to fall and tear open the door, bravely rushing inside, yanking the door closed behind me as the wind tries to tear it away and leave us with nothing. I close it and turn, scowling as I find Cody glaring at me from beside the fire. I could knock him out right now. I really could. Fucking asshole. How could he just leave me out there like that? Bad visit with Zak or not I still needed a safe place to sleep for the night!

I approach the fire but Cody stops me when he turns around and lifts the fire poker stick in his hand into the air. "What the fuck are you doing here? I told you to stay by the fire until I came to get you."

"I waited until I was sure he was gone. You alright?" I say calmly even though my mind is still racing with anger and it's only because I know that I can't just rush in here and demand answers. I'll get nowhere with Cody doing that.

"Why? Cody jerks towards me defensively.

"Well I saw you with Zak…"

Cody frowns. "Of course I'm alright." He glare turns bitter. "And next time I'd appreciate it if you would stay the fuck out of my business, alright? Don't fucking spy on me. I don't like it."

"I just wanted to see Zak for myself." I say. "But yes, you're right, I will keep my distance next time now that I've seen too much."

"That would be wise." Cody snaps his attention back to the fire and keeps it there. And that's it. He has nothing else to say.

I open my mouth to point out that I didn't wait for him to come and get me because I didn't think he _would_ but, I stop. What's the point? It won't change anything and I'm already here so why bother? There are other more important matters at hand. Like the fact that Zak had asked about any soldiers washing up here. Have there been others? And why would the ships pass by sooner than they're supposed to? These are the important questions I need Cody to answer.

"Can you just answer one question for me?" I squint at him skeptically. "I would leave you alone if you did." There. That's fair. I'll go about this one question at a time and do my best to keep things cool between us…Fingers crossed.

Cody drops the stick into the fire after a long moment and looks up at me briefly. "_What_?" He sighs.

"Why is your chief checking for soldiers?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. If the army is going to be stopping by I'd like to know because _maybe_ I can work my way onto a ship home-" It's a lie and Cody probably knows it. "Just answer the question."

Cody's scoffs and steps away from the fire. "All right, fine. I lied before when I said that the army hadn't been here. I didn't want to tell you because I'm still not sure of who you are or what you want. Anyway the army has tried to take this island from us a couple of times but we're _supposed_ to have a treaty with them as of last year that says they have to stay away. But Zak doesn't trust them and won't let his guard down so the rest of us are not allowed to either. We're supposed to kill all soldiers on sight, period. That's what Zak wants and as per the treaty we have the right to do so."

I nod slowly although inside I'm screaming. How could he keep that from me? Damnit what if the army came back but on a different part of the island and I fucking _missed_ them because Cody didn't fucking trust me? God…FUCK. How could he fucking KEEP this from me!

I shake my head, I've reached my breaking point. I can't stand to be so ignorant.

"I want to see the village." I'm putting my foot down. "And I want to know more about what's going on around here and if you won't tell me then I will find out for myself. But I'm here now and you _should_ save me the trouble-"

"Don't tell me what I should do." Cody stops me with another glare as he snaps his hand to his hip. "I've told you enough-"

"I'm sick of fighting with you." I don't back down, not even for a second. "I'm done playing nice. Tell the truth about this place or I'll find out by myself! Why are you out here!"

"You have no right!" Cody shakes his head rapidly, his eyes squinted with burning outrage. "That's none of your fucking business!"

"Oh yeah! Why not!"

Cody gets in my face and I get right back in his. I don't know if we're going to fight. Lord knows I don't want to but I won't let Cody push me around anymore either. Not if we're going to be spending the next few days alone together.

"Because I don't fucking _know_ you, _merchant_! You're a liar and I don't trust liars!"

God damnit there he goes with that fucking merchant BULLSHIT. I'm fucking sick of it. I'm fucking **sick** of his fucking attitude. Like he hasn't lied to me! The fucking nerve! And besides that it just doesn't fucking matter that I was a soldier. That Randy is dead. The Randy that went over the rails of the burning ship isn't the Randy I am now.

I left that weak bastard behind once and for all.

"You stubborn bitch," I prepare myself as I press towards him, our foreheads meeting in a painful mashing of skulls. "Tell me what I am!" I snarl deep from my chest, our eyes locked in a furious, heated gaze of rage. "Tell me and just be done with it! What are you waiting for! Tell me!"

"Get out of my face!" Cody pushes back and I can feel him trembling with rage, his teeth bared in a snarl.

"No. I'm **done** playing nice with you. Tell me what I am now or **never** speak of it again."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"You leave me no choice! Tell me or fucking drop it! If you're man enough to do something about it then fucking DO it. Stop going back and forth and make a fucking decision-" I stop mid-sentence as Cody's eyes narrow and I feel him tense. He's going to hit me.

I jerk back but it's too late. Cody's hands fly up and collide with my chest, knocking me back a few steps as pain explodes upwards through my shoulder. I can't stop him. Cody comes forward, closing the distance with another hard shove that sends me stumbling, my balance complete lost. My feet fumble to stop the momentum carrying my body but just like that I lose the battle and fall, crashing hard onto my shoulder.

My mouth opens but no sound comes out as pain tears through my body, stealing my breath as stars dance and shoot about my vision. Fuck fuck fuck. I should have waited before confronting him. I'm in no condition to defend myself right now. And Cody's proving that.

I look up just in time to see Cody advancing on my prone body, his eyes ablaze as he suddenly dives on top of me, mashing my hips into the sand as his strong hands work together to keep me there. They split up, one grabbing my neck and the other curling painfully tight around the curve of my shoulder, pinning me to the ground. "You're a fucking _**soldier**_." He hisses over my face as he tightens his fingers around my throat. "I should _kill_ you just for that. Never mind that you _lied_ about it-."

"I _was_ a soldier. I left. I just wanted to go _home_." I grimace and fight to find my voice, my mind struggling to focus on Cody over the pain burning deep within my shoulder. I grab his hands but the angle is too awkward. I'm too weak-I—I can't even pull-

"Once a soldier, **always** a solider. Everyone knows that."

"No. You don't understand. I'm _not_ like that I-"

Cody's cruel fingers dig into my flesh, his attention more on my shoulder than my throat. His eyes rake over my face over and over as he squeezes tighter and tighter, hurting me just because he can. "How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you're not going to cut my throat in the middle of the night so you can get rid of me and set up a little place for you retched buddies to come and join you?"

I open my mouth to speak but my pride suddenly swells and steals my words. I don't want to admit to being a soldier because damnit I'm just NOT. I never really was because I didn't truly conform and I deserve the credit because I held onto my humanity through it all. I never turned into a monster. But Cody won't see it that way. He won't trust me enough to believe that I won't cause him any harm.

I give up as my face scrunches in pain. I don't have a choice. I can't get up. I can't force Cody off of me and I can't pretend he doesn't have me beat. My hands slip from Cody's hands down to his wrists. I have to let come what may. I—I can't fight this.

"My friend are dead, Cody. And I'm dead to everyone but Justin, and you." I swallow. "My life as I knew it ended the second I jumped off that ship…"

Cody's head jerks back but he doesn't let go of my shoulder or neck as he settles his weight over my waist. He _sits_ on me.

I look down where I feel our skin touching along our chests, is he trying to crush me? My eyes come back up and our noses almost bump and I jump. My throat goes dry. Why is he so close? Is he going to kill me now?

Cody's hand tightens around my throat.

Shit.

I lift my head into the grip of his hand to loosen his hold but it only brings us closer, my lips parting as I feel the air struggling to get through, our eyes locking.

I don't know what he wants. I—I can't tell if he's going to choke me or—or I don't know. I can't for the life of me figure out what he wants but my heart is racing, my shoulder is throbbing, and I think I can feel Cody's dick rubbing against my stomach.

Cody pushes down on my waist, his eyes widening with a strange, conflicted darkness as he forces my head back and bares his teeth, hissing through them. "I _hate_ you."

His hand squeezes hard and I choke, fearing the worst.

I close my eyes and try to let it come but I frantically clutch Cody's wrists and other wise freeze beneath him. I don't want him to do this but-

I feel his breath on my face and my eyes fly open with a gasp. He's gazing at me, our lips touching just barely but enough to form a kiss…

Panic rushes to my head in a hot, thick wave of heat, my heart pounding out of control as a terrible ache suddenly breaks out over the length of my body. It makes me squirm. "What are you-" He kisses me harder and I let him, my eyes wide as he stares down at me with a shocking tenderness and need. His tongue slips into my mouth, flicking towards the back of my throat and finds mine, twining beneath it in a sensual exploration for more.

I can't move.

I'm so confused.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

I know we're not supposed to hot link here but, I've published something! If you go to Amazon and type in my book number B00AQZH2KK it will bring up the information. If you don't buy it at least like and tag it for me :) Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

Just a friendly reminder….

If you're looking for updates to this story (or any others) you can find them on my live journal. My page is locked so you will have to sign up for an account (which is free) and add me as a friend. Got to livejouraldotcom to sign up. Once you have an account just search meeshimish and my journal will populate. If you have any trouble finding living journal then head over to bing or google and search it, should work fine.


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